Southern Amusement

My Grammy Sammie sent this one to me. I laughed and laughed.

Mark Your Calendars.

I've been waiting for this for months. Katherine over at Radio 1190 has herded cats for the Local Shakedown Volume 3 compilation. Lucky for us, we had just finished tracking the instruments for our upcoming release--we pretty much only had to pick pick a song to gussy up for our submission. It looks like a lot of other unreleased goodies found their way onto los discos, too. Dig it (I'm way too lazy to edit something that's perfectly intelligible, except for the linkage):

PRESS RELEASE: Local Shakedown Vol. 3 CD out 10/16

The 3rd Local Shakedown CD will be released on Friday, October 16th. The double disc features 41 bands of many different styles from Colorado's thriving indie music scene. This CD follows the release of the 1st Local Shakedown CD in 2000 and the 2nd Local Shakedown CD in 2004, both on Smooch Records. It was mastered with assistance from Bob Ferbrache at Absinthe Studios. As a producer and sound engineer Ferbrache has worked with many of Denver's finest bands including The Fluid, Bum Kon, 16 Horsepower, Slim Cessna's Auto Club and many more. Artwork for the CD was done by cartoonist Noah Van Sciver who is the author of Blammo and the Westword's weekly strip "4 Questions".

The Local Shakedown is a radio show which exclusively plays local music from Colorado and hosts regular band interviews and live performances. It can be heard on Radio1190 AM each Friday from 4-6 pm and it can be found online at www.radio1190.org/localshakedown.


RELEASE PARTIES

The Local Shakedown Vol. 3 CD was kindly co-released by your favorite local record stores: Twist and Shout, Wax Trax and Bart's CD Cellar. To celebrate its release there will be live music at each store the weekend of October 16th. The double-CD will be for sale at each location for $11.90. Below is a schedule of live music and attached is a flyer for the event.

Friday, Oct. 16th
Twist and Shout
2508 E. Colfax Ave., Denver
6:00 PM - The Kissing Party

Saturday, Oct. 17th
Bart's CD Cellar
1015 Pearl St., Boulder
2:00 PM - Thee Goochi Boiz, otem rellik, Aënka

Sunday, Oct. 18th
Wax Trax
638 E. 13th Ave., Denver
2:00 PM - Bad Weather California, Magic Cyclops, The Fire Drills, The
GetDown!


TRACK LISTING

(**) indicates that song is currently unreleased
($$) indicates that song is exclusive to this CD

Disc One
1. Magic Cyclops - Intro
2. Mr. Pacman - David Blaine's Erotic Mansion ($$)
3. Fire Drills - Hole For a Heart
4. The Kissing Party - The Heart of It All
5. Young Coyotes - Buried
6. Dethbox - xhatexedgexonxthexstraightxedgex
7. otem rellik - Better Times (**)
8. Kal Cahoone - Build the Fire
9. Littles Paia - Cyberpunk's Not Dead (for Tom Murphy and Carles) ($$)
10. Multicast - Hawaii ($$)
11. Pictureplane - Cyclical Cyclical (Atlantis)
12. Swayback - Steamrolling (**)
13. Bad Luck City - Stevie Johnston (**)
14. Elin Palmer - Time
15. Reverend Deadeye - Snake Bite
16. Crack Magik - Ike Turner
17. Wire Faces - Portable Castles
18. Cowboy Curse - Negative Space
19. Overcasters - Way of the World
20. The Wheel - Oil and Lavender (**)
21. Munly and the Luprecalians - Grandfather (**)

Disc Two
1. Aënka - Mylarism (**)
2. Bad Weather California - I Don't Know
3. Lady Parts - Mums for Mice (**)
4. The Omens - She's Just Fine
5. Moonspeed - 27000 MPH
6. Chad Price - With Bleeding Wrists (**)
7. Married in Berdichev - Funnel Clouds (**)
8. Coconut Beach - I'm Gone (**)
9. BDRMPPL - 2013 Pt. 2 ($$)
10. Milton Melvin Croissant III - Blizzaga (**)
11. Thee Goochi Boiz - Summer Song (**)
12. Paper Bird - Lost Boys
13. Roger Green - Get Up (**)
14. Bela Karoli - Prelude 3 (**)
15. d. biddle - You Are the Sea ($$)
16. Blue Million Miles - Pterodactyl (**)
17. The GetDown! - The First 'A' in Omaha ft. Carrie Beeder and Sara
Fischer (**)
18. Wentworth Kersey - Wealth
19. Cacheflowe - Flowebot ft. Brer Rabbit
20. Time - Cockroach Goddess

If you would like to get more information about the CD, request a digital copy of the CD for review purposes, or get in contact with the bands, please email Katherine Peterson.

For more information about Radio1190, visit http://www.radio1190.org.

For more information about the Local Shakedown, visit
http://www.radio1190.org/localshakedown.

The Profile Photo Says It Best.

I took that one a few years ago while I was workin' on the railroad. If I recall correctly, that one was taken in Kansas, and a local warned me that we 'shouldn't go down there.' Being the mighty RR consultants that we were, we totally did. Indeed, the road sucked, but not like that Wyoming stuff (there were sketchy hobo camps and people with guns and stuff, though).

Anyhow, I'm signing off for a while. I just don't feel like updating stuff for the summer, really. If there's something monumental, it'll go here, but I have zero expectations, as should you, my readin' people.

Surreal, Man.

Today was too weird for me. I slept through the alarm and was late for work by about 20 minutes.

After checking my truck and obtaining the sheets (we're like the KKK and can't do anything without the sheets--our daily route notes), I headed over to the nearby gas station for my traditional breakfast of a bean and cheese burrito and a Mountain Dew. The dude, Roger, rang up my ticket, and a handed him my check card (which is annoying to everyone, because it's an old verification system). As he handed me back my card, I noticed that he was REALLY shaky. He bugged out his eyes, sort of 'wobbled', but unlike Weebles, he did fall down. Indeed, the clerk was out cold with his eyes rolled back. Then, he starts this horrible gasping.

All I could do is stand there with my mouth open, waiting to sign the slip. Luckily, some Mexican behind me in line had his phone with him (mine was in the truck), and called the paramedics. They carted Roger off to the hospital.

I think that maybe I need to work on my crisis-coping-with skills, seriously.

Later, I caught the UFO with the camera phone. I'm all Pete Townsend on that one.

Everything else was cool today until I heard KVOD on the way home. It was "Adagio from Piano Sonata No. 14 in C-sharp minor "Quasi una fantasia", Op. 27, No. 2, by Ludwig van Beethoven. I can't remember who was playing it, but they pushed Adagio a lot, almost getting into Lento territory. It was like Swans was covering Ludwig Van.

The Moonlight Sonata's first movement is pretty damn cool, but my favorite is the third, especially the Horowitz version--really a beautiful interpretation with lots of great dynamics:



My grandfather forced me to watch Horowitz on TV when I was a kid, and I still can't get over his hands (he wasn't Gattaca material). His hands mimic the hammers, really. Chopin is pretty good--this one's from Austria in 1987, a couple of years before he died:



I love this Horowitz quote:

"There are three kinds of pianists: Jewish pianists, homosexual pianists, and bad pianists."

Show Recap; Stuff

We were far from perfect, but the crowd was pissed enough that they didn't care (this is what we count on). We made some new friends, and sold some cds. I'm still astounded by the amount of money--when I joined the band, a point was made that this band is not commercially successful (that isn't isn't even the case).

The Limbs is a one-man deal. Dude did a Tom Waits cover to close his set, and, although TW gets on my nerves usually, I was stoked. Totally worth seeing; I'll be a repeat offender.

The DJ/VJ did a mashup of Wild Thing



and Lick It Up



it was awesome.

Light Travels Faster did their thing (solid set). Later, Todd and I talked amps. I really like that guy, the rest of the band isn't very chatty.

It was great to re-connect with Mark from The Construct. I played with him 15 years ago, briefly during that post Neglected Mind period. Mark is really flourishing with the loop pedals. Dude always had impeccable time, so I'm not surprised that he's doing something technical. He's really a great drummer, along the lines of Mike Ricketts.

Tito made it down. He isn't used to seeing me play with so much tone. The new electronics and new BLC songs that I'm playing helmsman on really are different for me. I used to be uncomfortable with sparse arrangements, but not so much anymore.

BLC had some equipment casualties, though. Greg's two Les Pauls were not happy with tuning and it sounded bad, or in another key. Either my amp or Josh's made some bizarre sounds (the verge of pure DC clipping) 3/4 of the way through the set. I think that I was the offender--but it could have been the PA. After I get some rest, I need to see WTF. At least we don't have anything scheduled until 5/16, so I can work out the amp crap.

I'm stoked that I have the BLC cab at home with me, so that I can play the new bass through it and see if a useful BLC eq is to be found with a 4x10".

It looks like we're on the hook for a major (maybe) fiasco in October. Whatever...we'll be stoked to do it up--playin' for despondent college kids is totally our bag. Playing in a truck is an experience that I welcome.

I heard the preliminary mix for the compilation submission. Dameon sounds a little too AM radio; I'd like the bass and drums louder. I'm not going to bitch too much. The fuckin' Hammond track doesn't sound too bad with the new context (Josh really did some nice distortion guitar work).

I require sleep now.

Another Write-Up.

I really don't like that photo at all. That one that Claypool did at Cocaine Blues really is great, even if it probably won't publish well. Anyhow, here is the new write-up, in Syntax.

Las Palmas

There's a lot to know about it, as it turns out. This is cool, though:



this one is more like it:



just in case, clapping 101 (love the natural reverb):



I had a revelation today about hand clapping, and this worm was stuck with me most of the day:

20 Pounds.

I got on my scale for the first time in a few weeks on Friday night, and it seems that I've lost twenty pounds. I know that I've cut my booze consumption at night and my food consumption overall (everything's getting expensive), but I was surprised by that. I'm sure that the major GI issues aren't helping me maintain weight.

Seriously, though, I can stand to lose a few pounds. I just hope that I'm not having some serious issues. My clothes aren't fitting, though. This will help with the Halloween costume, but if this continues, I'll need to see a doctor a la The Who.

I've been taking numerous supplements, and I've been feeling fairly well, outside of the malady. I'll keep posting the health updates...

Why Am I So Sweaty?!?

Seriously, man...I think that it's my nerves showing. I hate this shit--it's embarassing and a genetic issue. I need to stop trying to do everything that I can. Seriously...when November hits, I'm going to have to make some hard choices, I think. I wouldn't say that I'm unhappy, but actually over-extended, emotionally (numb, anymore), physically (this is a real nightmare), creatively (no alzheimers for the non-rapping JZ, but shit, I can't keep it up).

I'm on the hook until the Halloween, though. I'm going to have to say "no" to anything post-halloween to everyone, I think. I ought to just shoot myself and be done with it--the buckshot is loaded, but I can't let people down on my prior commitments.

Recording; Rehearsal; Soundtrack

It's a very busy (and thus, boozy) time for me.

This week we finally got in deep with the recordings. The bass rig makes the building make bad sounds, so live recording isn't really an option (again). I must've been much quiter for the RC record. Actually, I know that I was--the Ampeg setup just doesn't hit that hard. So, we're multi-tracking it out. It's a little bit of a drag for me, but I'm not discouraged at all. What we've tracked so far sounds awesome. E is fucking amazing (doing up drums with only a metronome). The guitars sound great, but we ran out of time to finesse the bass into the mix (we're super-close, though). I'm really really really superexcited about making this record.

Saturday was the initial rehearsal of the Sound Diapers (the SD). Actually, it went a lot better than I had anticipated. My somewhat improvised lines worked out just fine. I need to shake my fist at MH for making that one song difficult on the rhythm section (you cunt). It'll be good, and BLS is fucking stoked.

The BLC is writing really soundtrack-y stuff. We need to get both guitarists in a room to make 'em into songs. They're at their best when they can bounce ideas off each other--I'm only somewhat good at writing changes up. Still, we're going to go test Greg's studio for some of the soundtrack stuff.

And I have two (?!!?) looming projects on the horizon to think about. Seriously, I think that two bands is about right, although I'm stoked to play four nights a week. Maybe three bands? LRC hates this shit, though, because I never see her. I can't make any decision until I'm done with this SD deal.

Not So Good With Metaphors (keyed up tonight)

Seriously, though...people make me crazy with "warm" and "muddy" when describing how something sounds. Occasionally, I catch myself using 'em, though--lately, "fizzy" has occurred a few times.

Apparently, the bass track that I cut tonight sounds "like Salisbury steak gravy." WTF?!? It's probably the most descriptive anyone's ever gotten with my tone. I dig it. Thanks, John.

Dude also said that there was a kind of Geezer Butler vibe to it, which I can totally dig. I was 14 or 15 when I shoplifted a $3 bootleg of "We Sold Our Soul For Rock 'n' Roll" the track order was wrong, and the cover was something weird, but I was hooked. When I saw him last year, I thought that he was playing a bass like my black ho, but it looks to be a fuckin' Lakland.

That stuff changed my life.









I totally need to bring "Denver Concrete Vibrator" out of the online gaming realm, and into reality. Like I have time for four bands, right?

Mel Rocks...and only Fuckin' Ronny will get this.

Some Texas TV advertisements from back in the day:

Amazing.

I totally scored a backup amp on the 'bay. It was one minute, two seconds remaining, and totally undervalued. It might need some work to be groovy, but, shit, these Mesa/Boogie Bass 400s aren't that plentiful in The Denber, so I HAD to locate a cheap backup. The last couple of weeks have been hellish for me because I've been very stressed out about amps.

I'm so glad that this isn't a Matchless or something, and I CAN find another one. Boutique amps and "classic gear" are cool, but it's a really a bitch if it catches on fire. I suppose that these bass amps are "classic" (or almost); the last one came off the line in 1989, though. That last run had the 2-ohm taps off of the transformer, which is wicked (I want one).

Happy that I scooped up another one, even without the extra-groovy outputs. I'm totally getting out of the amp business, unless I can get something amazing (a B-15N) supercheap.

Additional research on these silly Bass 400s reveals that the preamp is just as I suspected--2-10-2 is "flat EQ" (like a Fender Showman, or the mighty Alembic preamp). I was also stunned to learn that Cliff "f" Burton used 'em--I really had no idea, but it makes a lot of sense to me, since he also throws down those "unpleasant to JFN" sounds (there's a post about this, somewhere recent); I don't feel like a total idiot for not using a fuckin' SVT, anymore. My Booger sounds almost as good as my old Bassman, but has much more gain and is so so so much louder. Really, almost anything sounds great through The Electric Grandmother (Ampeg 810E), though.

I still want to get another 1966 Bassman (one that has a grounded power cord and doesn't zap you--I don't care if it was previously owned by The Boss anymore).

Blurry, Rainy, and Unsinkable

I was wandering around today in Denver in the rain. There's a lot of cool places to see, but I only had the cameraphone. Oh well...maybe another time.

The Molly Brown house:

Depressed.

I think that this deal has blossomed into a depression/anxiety sort of thing. That 12-gauge is looking appealing, again. The drive to practice from Lakewood made me want to seriously do myself in.

I'm feeling completely tapped-out (cashed) for the creativity. It's getting to be agonizing to come up with something new as far as bass goes. With two bands in hard core writing mode, it's getting a bit arduous for me. I discovered a new trick tonight, though, and instead of listening to one guitarist and crafting my line based on that, I listened to what the other guy was doing and did a counter-harmony on that. It changed the song a lot more than I intended, though. Changing the fundamental is almost too much power to wield for me.

This bummed me out a lot; I want to disappear. Dude is building a database of front range bands and shit, so I guess that it's an admirable task, but just about impossible to keep up to date.

Today, I loaded 10,000 pounds of pine needles and cactus into my truck with the help of a couple of 17-year-olds (they REALLY impressed me, actually). Airborne cactus spikey things are currently infesting my epidermis, and making me miserable.

Tomorrow is 14 tons of gravel to deliver and spread in Mahoney's driveway. That's a lot of fucking gravel, but with my new dump truck, it ought to be easy work. The temporary tag expires on the 26th, so I need to get all of my gravel hauling done ASAP. We're selling the dump body and replacing it with an awesome compactor as soon as we finish shortening the New Jersey monster truck.

Tomorrow is also getting together with the RC to work out the set list and shit. I'm glad that fuckin' Ronny is so enthusiastic about this deal. That makes me feel like I'm doing good. I'm all about high-exposure gigs, if it means a string deal (that's the reason that I said yes).

The bass amps and speakers are not pleasing me at the moment. I caught the SWR 1x15" on fire a couple of nights ago. I picked up an Eminence replacement that's rated 600 watts at 8 ohms--this might be usable (shit, Tommy Shannon uses 'em). Go Kentucky! It's a nice nice speaker, for sure. The Booger is STILL in the shop. Dude is busy, and faster than Stubby, but shit, I'm miserable without that amp. Equipment nightmares are the worst kind.

Mostly, I'm FUCKING TIRED. People want stuff, and I deliver, and I'm miserable. Soon it will be over.

Cognitive Dissonance (not really--this is totally appropriate)

A hilarious video a la the youtuve:



Probably my favorite song (horrible 12-string sound, though):



This is much better:

Dropping Like Flies

Recently, a friend told me that bass players are hard to find in this town. This is why I have three things going now, I suppose. Thank goodness one of 'em is another one off deal (I honestly don't understand the underlying motivation for this one).

Two stories caught my eye on the Backbeat Online today:

Johnny Schou's Death Ruled An Accidental Overdose; and
Duncan Barlow Moves On, Lion Sized Looks for New Bassist

Speaking of overdosing bass guitarists, I found this on the BitTorrent:

Insecto Loco; Weather; Photos; Super Huge; Goals and Shit

A fucking yellow jacket got up my pants' legs today. Stung me twice on the left leg, and, after I seizured him out of that leg, five times in my right kneecap. It's not as bad as it sounds, actually. I'm apparently not that allergic to the damn things. Manuel said "el insecto es loco," after I crushed its head and it was walking around in circles on the truck floor. He crushed it, and ended the ordeal. Three antihistamines were just the ticket, although I was very stoned at The Weather Center this evening.

It rained tonight! Awesome. Apparently, there was a tornado warning while we were writing another new one. Like we'd even be able to hear the air raid sirens, right?

Jason Claypool has his photos from the DPUMS up. He actually caught me at a good moment--this is as close to rock posing (funny link) as I think that I'll ever get. I was actually making faces at the camera, but timing is everthing in photography, right. I think that he did good.



During practice, I got one of those big bad important "this is urgent, call me back" voicemails. It sounded grave as shit, so I did on the way home. I'm pretty damn excited, but I'll wait to break the news to all but my closest friends. It's sort of one of those gigs that you can't say "no" to without kicking yourself afterwards. Andrew and I are stoked (he called me basically in the same surreal mood). The next couple of months are going to be rock central for yours truly, but this is what I've wanted to do since I was little.

Actually, when I was 11 or 12, I saw the late night television show bands and decided that I wanted to be a professional musician. I told my dad that, and he was actually excited for me. It's probably the only time that someone has encouraged me to follow dreams. I'm still not there, but well on my way to getting enough calls to stay busy--now, if only I could get paid sessions. I'm going to work my ass off to make this one gig completely perfect, though. It shouldn't be too difficult--seriously, I filled in for Ventura that one time with Ghost Buffalo, and those were giant shoes to fill (you know what they say about Phillipinos with big shoes--they have big feet).

Shit, I'm burnt out.

Dream Amp For BLC

Dude wants to trade for a motorcycle. It's too bad that I don't have a stable of bikes chillin'.

Other fools with the distorted bass guitar....

Man, Cliff Burton was the fucking REASON that I decided that bass was cool enough to play. Basically, it was him and Jerry Only of all people. I remember when I was a young player, and I totally HAD to have a wah pedal as well as a fuzz. Now, I'm all about clarity and punch much to the malign of my bands. Fuckers. Maybe I'd be more okay with my sideman position if I got recognized as "the major rager on the four string mother fucker". Seriously, that's fucking hilarious, and doesn't suit me.

As y'all know, I ain't a soloist, but this shit makes me blow a load (happy tokin'; throwin' the goat is mandatory):

Frustrateed, Really

The SNOCAP has some issues.

Apparently, we're selling some downloads (hilarious to me), but getting paid is another story. Apparently, they require a nine-digit routing number for the bank-account-direct-deposit jazz (at least we have a bank account, which is a great start). This is all cool, I suppose, but why is it that when I input our nine-digit routing number for the bank account, they claim that the account routing number must be nine digits?!? I'm too drunk to deal with this shit.

Additional, agonizing, help desk emails are required, I'm certain.

Priceless....

I saw this and HAD to post it. One of the funniest bass player videos, ever:

That would make a great cover for a certain band of mine. There would have to be some rearrangement for dos rock guitars, but it would be a BADASS cover and let Kelly scream. I know that Andrew and I could easily do it. D might have alternate lyrics. It would have to be much slower. I've loved the 'band of demons' bass line (chomatic death) since I was four years old.

Music Therapy

I feel much better tonight after the BLC rehearsal.

It's awesome to be able to close my eyes and get swept away. Unfortunately, this isn't a good plan with BLC--I opened my eyes only to find myself being hazed by guitarists. That gay stuff is okay; they made me smile. Dirty bass-tards, every one of 'em.

We're playing our new one, An Unclean Evening, last, because we're fuckin' geniuses at one in the morning. That means that no one will notice the slop.

The good news is that the deox-it worked on the bass! I need to tear it apart and clean the sweat out of the controls properly, though. Maybe Sunday.

This Is What I'm Talkin' 'Bout...

Wholesome, and shit....

For Tom....

I want to get a photo of TM in front of the bus stop in question--maybe with a 40 and Laverne. That would be funny as hell. Meanwhile, Math Monkey is some vedic system for math mastery. Fuckin' Indians.

For Shaina...

Don't stick your fingers in the huge metal fan, friends. That was seriously funny, and I totally couldn't have "saved her," because I was without the power of speech when she did it.

I Love This Article, Hilariously "WRONG" (links and stuff emphasis added for)

Do tits make the woman?!? I'm as serious and drunk as a heart attack.

I think NOT, my friends. If that's the definition of a woman, I know several people, including myself, that are, indeed, women.

GIRL POWER, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!

From here:

Transgender "man" reportedly gives birth
Thu Jul 3, 2008 8:15pm EDT

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Thomas Beatie, who was born a woman but after surgery and hormone treatment lives as a man, has given birth to a girl at an Oregon hospital, People magazine reported on Thursday.

Beatie, 34, who kept female reproductive organs after initiating a transgender transformation and legally changing his name from Tracy Lagondino in his 20s, confirmed the birth to the magazine.

The baby, conceived through artificial insemination using donor sperm and Beatie's own eggs, was born on June 29, and Beatie and the baby are "healthy and doing well," People reported.

"The only thing different about me is that I can't breast-feed my baby. But a lot of mothers don't," People quoted Beatie as saying. He has had his breasts surgically removed.

He told the magazine that contrary to published reports, the baby was not delivered by Caesarean section, but no other details about the birth were given.

Beatie made world headlines -- and stoked public debate about the boundaries of gender identity -- when he went public with his pregnancy during a guest appearance on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" in April, in which he was shown undergoing an ultrasound examination.

The thinly bearded Beatie told Winfrey then that he began his sexual transformation about 10 years ago when he started taking testosterone injections and had surgery to remove mammary glands and flatten his chest.

Upon deciding to have a child about two years ago, he halted his bimonthly hormone injections and resumed menstruating.

Beatie's wife, Nancy, 46, whom he married five years ago, was unable to conceive because of a prior hysterectomy. Otherwise, he has said, "I wouldn't be doing this." His spouse has two grown daughters by a previous marriage.

She said on "Oprah" that their parental roles would be fairly traditional despite his transgender status. "He's going to be the father, and I'm going to be the mother," she said.

The couple, who operate a T-shirt printing business in Bend, Oregon, are legally married and he is recognized under Oregon state law as a man.

Beatie has said he is writing a book about his childhood, his mother's suicide and his life growing up in Hawaii, where as a youngster he was a Girl Scout, a teen beauty pageant contestant and earned a martial-arts black belt.

He began living as a man in his 20s, eventually changing his gender on his passport and driver's license. Like many individuals who identify themselves as transgender men, or "transmen," Beatie opted not to remove his ovaries and other female reproductive organs he was born with.

Amazing.

Jeff Healey died in March. I heard this from Nichols, but didn't really look into it at the time. Sure, he's 'cheating' with his thumb, but shit, man, dude was blind. This is a pretty great cover--the bass player is way too into it--it takes some giant balls to cover George Harrison:

The Cocktail That Doesn't Work

And, I was totally not wanting to rock today, but I did make it to the writing session:

20 mg of that amazing cyclobenzaprine;
800 mg of the ibuprofen;
1160 mg of magnesium salicylate; and
440 mg of naproxen sodium

It did make me quite sleepy, however, my droogies, I still have the agonizing pain. I think that I require some opiates, friends. I swear that I'm not just thrill-seeking. I need to cool this crap out so that I can rest. I went to the booze barn this afternoon, just in case I will require alcohol therapy to pass out and get some sort of sub-standard sleep.

I hate this painful shit, really.
----------------
Now playing: Led Zeppelin - Achilles Last Stand

You Know, Earth Is A Pretty Groovy Place To Live

Even with all of the crap that I got to deal with today (some sort of engine melt-down, etc.), this really is a pretty little planet that we have here. My stuff is way better than those gold records (WTF?!?) on V-ger. Indeed, I have lots and lots of photos of stuff that caught my eye. Here are a few from the last couple of days:

My new and improved lifestyle.

Hee hee hibiscus.



Pink Hanging Basket.



Shifting Shafts of Shining.

Wranglin', Again

Sort of like this, but this time was a chestnut mare and a beautiful black and white foal. They had escaped and were playing in rush-hour traffic on 144th Avenue. I stumbled upon them on my way home from the drugstore trip for antihistamine eye drops (grass pollen, it seems).

I pulled a u-turn and corralled the pair in the owner's front yard. I recognized the horses in question.

I hate horses, really, but I come from a long line of horsemen. An animal that allows a person to put a saddle on it is totally imbecilic. It's the right thing to do to save 'em from maniacs in the 'burbs. Those maniacs aren't rural people, for sure, and they don't get it. Many autos screamed past while I was in the midst of fencing the ponies.

As I pulled the batmobile back onto route, a cowboy-hat-wearing dude in a suburban (how appropriate) pulled in to make sure that everything was cool.

It was; I'm a master of horses (don't tell anyone).

Shit From My Dear Old Mom:

Things I learned living in Texas (get crazy with the cheez wizz):

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. 'fixinto' is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'.

14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.

16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer?'.

17. You measure distance in minutes.

18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.

22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.

24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.

26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'.

28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.

29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!

31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas.

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Now playing: Beck - Loser

After All Three....

Perhaps the greatest rock moment of my life was when that funny-talker (this isn't a politically-correct blog) asked me to cease using my "Fog Pedal." This was VERY confusing to me, since I don't have such a thing (I will re-paint and re-label the LBP-1 now, though--I require pedal-painting tips ASAP, friends). Apparently, Osama took it upon himself to call the fire department in order to shut down our fog machine. They brought a real fire truck to do this, but gave up.

The set was nearly flawless, even if Osama's antics overshadowed it. Overcasters made an impression, either way.

The Bad Luck City's set was flawed from the get-go. Kelly's bow got beer-infested at a prior gig, and now it requires a re-hair. She requires a medal for five shows in a weekend. Kelly O'Dea is amazing. Perry had some amp issues, but, eventually, we worked, 'em out. That set wasn't horrible, but was rather pale compared to the night before. I fucked up for a two or three count which is completely unacceptable. I am the worst player ever. I had fun, though.

After a sweaty sweaty day, LRC and I played naked foosball, took showers, drank screwdrivers, ate cold pizza, and watched Pee Wee's Playhouse on DVD. It was the perfect end to a (nearly) perfect Saturday.

Cancelled.

I canceled my appointment with the GI doctor. Some people are mad at me, but I can't get enough time off of the job to cope with this shit (ha ha) right now. The good news is that things are semi-groovy at the moment (no pain). This bloody ass is so lame, though.

Cooler On The Record

I stumbled across these two videos of Om playing "At Giza":

This one gets mean about nine minutes into it, finally....

Their tempos wander more than any duo should (surprising). I prefer the record because that Rick twangy is more tolerable.

Wanna Get Wild?

So goes one of the scripts to my 'obscene phone calls.' It never works, but it's fun. I found this while looking for a Gibson Thunderbird:



That zebrawood rocks, but I couldn't actually pull it off. I require a more ugly one, that matches the hand-wired bass cab and what-not. Something like this beat-up cherry transparent '65 T-bird, maybe (I'd kill for one without a neck repair):



Like that in a transparent blue and I'd do unspeakable things, really. Trans-blue and reverse body (a la Watt, unfortunately--I forgot about this until I typed it--his is all metallica blue and a single pickup--I'd kill children and cute baby animals for that bass--single pickups are where it's at):

My Speed

More from The American Astronaut via the mighty youtube. This is the best:

Quite Funny...with a big but

I don't like this at all. It's all in the editing, really. There's a reason that dude is on a certain "enemies list."

¡Viva Lawn Darts, Bitches!

Indeed, I'm a Libertarian whacko. I've had enough of this two-party-bullshit. Anyone that has seen the light and wants to deal with the patriot act appropriately is my pal.

Weed (er...) FREEDOM! (in my best brave heart voice):

A Shitting Gnome!

I'm totally not shittin' y'all. I had to abscond with the dude when I spied him perched upon a trash heap within a Boulder alley. He requires paint, but is way cooler than a gnome smoking a pipe while riding a unicycle. Check it out (taking a dump on my couch):


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Now playing: Pink Floyd - The Gnome

R.I.P.

I was just talking to someone about Bo Diddley, and the new Gretsch Signature Model (I think that it was probably K and J.F. Nichols). When I was a little boy, it was his guitar that made me realize that shape doesn't really matter with electric guitars (a revolutionary realization). I became familar with his music only after getting way into the Yardbirds' cover of 'I'm A Man" (after learning that Clapton, Beck and Page all did time in that band--'For Your Love', in particular, really turns me on with the drum break). Later, I got into that infectious Diddley shuffle.

A true monster; yet 'nother for the great gig in the sky:

Rock 'n roll legend Bo Diddley dies in Florida
Mon Jun 2, 2008 6:50pm EDT
By Jim Loney

MIAMI (Reuters) - Rock 'n' roll pioneer Bo Diddley, who banged out hit songs powered by the relentless "Bo Diddley beat" that influenced rockers from Buddy Holly to U2, died on Monday at the age of 79.

Diddley died of heart failure at his home in Archer, Florida, his management agency, Talent Consultants International, said in a statement.

"One of the founding fathers of rock 'n' roll has left the building he helped construct," the statement said.

Diddley suffered a stroke during a concert in Iowa in May 2007 and was hospitalized in Omaha, Nebraska. In August 2007 he had a heart attack in Florida.

Garry Mitchell, a grandson of Diddley and one of more than 35 family members at the musician's home when he died at about 1:45 a.m. EDT (0545 GMT), said his death was not unexpected.

"There was a gospel song that was sang and he said 'wow' with a thumbs up," Mitchell told Reuters, when asked to describe the scene at Diddley's deathbed.

"The song was 'Walk Around Heaven' and in his last words he stated that he was going to heaven."

In a career spanning more than five decades, Diddley composed a substantial body of rock classics, including "Who Do You Love," "Bo Diddley," "Bo Diddley's a Gunslinger," "Before You Accuse Me," "Mona," "I'm a Man" and "Pretty Thing."

He cranked them out on a signature rectangular guitar, setting many of them to rumba-like rhythm of his "Bo Diddley beat" that gave rock 'n' roll a powerful rhythmic foundation.

Along with such contemporaries as Chuck Berry and Little Richard, he was among a pioneering group of black recording artists who crossed the American racial divide with music that appealed to white audiences and was emulated by white performers.

Although Diddley recorded relatively few chart-topping hits, his seminal role in the formative years of rock music was recognized by his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987 and with a Grammy lifetime achievement award in 1998.

Born Ellas Bates in 1928 in McComb, Mississippi, he took the last name McDaniel from his adoptive mother, and played classical violin as a boy.

He was given the nickname Bo Diddley as a teenager after moving to Chicago, where he started playing music on street corners in the 1940s.

Inspired by blues musician John Lee Hooker's classic "Boogie Chillen," Diddley used his violin skills to craft a guitar sound that laid the basis for the funk music of the 1960s.

He found fame in the mid-1950s with his signature song "Bo Diddley." Even among the first wave of rock music, the song stood out with its tremolo guitar, maracas and trademark beat.

Diddley's unique guitar playing and rhythm influenced generations of rockers from Elvis Presley to Bon Jovi. Keith Richards and Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones and Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi made guest appearances on his records and Diddley played with the likes of The Clash and The Grateful Dead.

Arguably the greatest mainstream success of a song with the Bo Diddley beat was Buddy Holly's "Not Fade Away," recorded in the 1950s and which saw renewed success when it was covered by the Rolling Stones in the 1960s.

In an interview with The Sydney Morning Herald in March 2007, Diddley insisted he was the real father of rock, saying: "Little Richard came two or three years later, along with Elvis Presley. In other words, I was the first dude out there."

Diddley frequently complained about not being paid royalties during his peak years, telling The New York Times, "Have I been ripped off? ... You bet I've been ripped off."

In 1955 Diddley appeared on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and was promptly banned from further appearances because he defied Sullivan's instructions to sing a cover song and instead performed his own hit "Bo Diddley."

Diddley had harsh words for the direction black music had taken in recent years, telling Reuters that "gangsta" rap made his blood boil.

"I hate it. I call it rap-crap," Diddley said in a 1996 interview. "I can't seem to get my records played but they'll play all this garbage."

Diddley liked to help out in his local community in Florida. A father of five, he said he was deeply concerned about the direction of children in American society.

He worked with his local police department to warn teenagers about the dangers of drugs and gang violence.

Diddley was still touring and making records in recent years, not least because he said he needed the money.

His agency said public and private services are planned for this weekend.

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Now playing: Bo Diddley - Bo Diddley

Hospitality, Bitches

Tomorrow is my trip to the hospital in order to cure my malady (second time for this repair). I'm all nervous and shit. My mantra is all about feeling better after I go under the knife. No BLC practice on Saturday means I can actually do some recovering, although I'd rather play bass than chill out stoned on Oxycodone (hee hee) all weekend long.

Speaking of that, I feel like I'm playing really well presently. My BLC rig is sounding awesome and Ampeg-y. I am digging that 4x10" sound for that band (who'd have thunk). The orange one is sounding nice, too, wired parallel. Working out "The Distaff" last weekend was really a high point for me. Just hanging out with Dameon, Andrew and Kelly really can improve my attitude.

Agonizing through a very peculiar bridge tonight was equally satisfying. The tube meanie is requiring some dialing in, however. I'm either standing too close to the amp, or playing too loud. That B tonight was totally getting away from me. Maybe that's because it's all 60 cycle? That's my theory for the time being. I'll work it out. Might need to do some work to quell that feedback--maybe switch to heavy gauge strings (!?!), a higher-mass bridge, and a brass nut (mas mass). I need to replace zee hinkey nut since I've fucked it up with los cheapies de medium. After the next batch of shows, I'll take her into the shop.

The two bands are very different sounds, and I'm glad that I can get my electric grandmother off after getting my moody on. I cannot use a plectrum, though. Thus, I'm not going to pretend that I'm Peter Hook anytime soon. That was a funny moment.

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Now playing: New Order - Broken Promise

Too Hot...

It's like a fucking oven for some reason. I think that I'm going to douse myself in isopropyl and chill out naked on the porch. The neighbors love that shit.

That was a horrible movie that I was coerced into viewing....great interpretation of a song (right click; Save Link As...), though.

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Now playing: Juno Original Soundtrack - Sonic Youth - Superstar

If Kellogg's Quit Making 'Em Into Fucking Cereal

they wouldn't even be close to endangered. From here:

Judge Orders Bush Administration to Decide Polar Bears' Status by May 15
By VOA News
30 April 2008

A U.S. judge has ordered the Bush administration to decide by May 15 whether polar bears in Alaska should be on the endangered species list because of global warming.

The judge ruled in favor of three conservation groups, including Greenpeace, that claim the U.S. government delayed a decision on the polar bear issue to avoid addressing global warming.

Environmental groups have argued the existence of the polar bears is threatened by the disappearance of their icy habitat due to global warming.

Under the Endangered Species Act, it is required that a decision to place species on the list be based on science. The conservation groups say science shows the Arctic is thawing.

Some information for this report was provided by AP and Reuters.

Maybe This Is What's Wrong With Me

I've been really down lately, outside of music, at least. That stuff is going quite well, but otherwise it seems that there's little to get really stokeed about. From here:

Feds: Teen use of pot can lead to dependency, mental illness

By JENNIFER C. KERR

WASHINGTON (AP) — Depression, teens and marijuana are a dangerous mix that can lead to dependency, mental illness or suicidal thoughts, according to a White House report being released Friday.

A teen who has been depressed at some point in the past year is more than twice as likely to have used marijuana as teens who have not reported being depressed — 25 percent compared with 12 percent, said the report by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.

"Marijuana is a more consequential substance of abuse than our culture has treated it in the last 20 years," said John Walters, director of the office. "This is not just youthful experimentation that they'll get over as we used to think in the past."

Smoking marijuana can lead to more serious problems, Walters said in an interview.

For example, using marijuana increases the risk of developing mental disorders by 40 percent, the report said. And teens who smoke pot at least once a month over a yearlong period are three times more likely to have suicidal thoughts than nonusers, it said.

The report also cited research that showed that teens who smoke marijuana when feeling depressed were more than twice as likely as their peers to abuse or become addicted to pot — 8 percent compared with 3 percent.

Experts who have worked with children say there's nothing harmless about marijuana.

"I've seen many, many kids' lives negatively impacted and taken off track because of marijuana," said Elizabeth Stanley-Salazar, director of adolescent services for Phoenix House treatment centers in California. "It's somewhat Russian roulette. There are so many factors, emotional, psychological, biological. You can't predict the experimentation and how it will impact a kid."

Bruce Mirken, communications director for the Marijuana Policy Project, an organization that advocates the decriminalization of marijuana, called the study "an absolutely dishonest report, deliberately confusing correlation with causation."

"This very week the British government's official scientific advisers on illegal drugs issued a report saying they are 'unconvinced that there is a causal relationship between the use of cannabis and any affective disorder,' such as depression, he said.

The drug control policy office analyzed about a dozen studies looking at marijuana use, including research by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

Overall, marijuana use among teens has decreased 25 percent since 2001, down to about 2.3 million kids who used pot at least once a month, the drug control office said.

While the drop is encouraging, Walters appealed to parents to recognize signs of possible drug use and depression.

"It's not something you look the other way about when your teen starts appearing careless about their grooming, withdrawing from the family, losing interest in daily activities," Walters said. "Find out what's wrong."

So Hot...

I've totally masturbated to this shit.

People are pretty worked up about the Miley Cyrus photos in the upcoming Vanity Fair. I think that the girl is kind of ugly (looks like she got hit in the face). Those people that are upset need to get a clue, seriously. It's not even as bad as a lot of nude little girl photos that I've seen. I don't think this is offensive at all; no apologies from Miley are required (that was a lame move on her part):

I'd title it "ugly teenager in a sheet." The slightly weird photo is chick laying in her father's lap.

I find this photo of Miley way more offensive:

Remember This?

I think that the Nitwit requires a pink dye job to go with her new ugly haircut. Since Nitwit is an Adams County cat, the man shouldn't have jurisdiction, right? Where's the LRC when I have questions like this?!?

Pink Poodle Case May Be Dismissed
Woman Must Agree To Not Dye Dogs, Fine Will Be Dropped

BOULDER, Colo. -- A salon owner who made national headlines when the Boulder Humane Society ticketed her for dyeing her dog pink has reached a deal with attorneys that would dismiss the citation.

According to the Daily Camera, the citation against Joy Douglas will be dismissed in six months if she doesn't dye another dog before then.

Douglas told the Camera that the case has been dropped, but she needed to talk with her attorney before making any comments.

The case isn't over, said officials with the city's municipal court, and if Douglas is accused of dyeing animals again before October, she could face penalties for the original charge.

Douglas was issued a citation on March 1 for violating a law saying, "No person shall dye or color live fowl, rabbits or any other animals or have in possession, display, sell or give away such dyed or colored animals."

Douglas said she colored Cici pink to help raise awareness for breast cancer. The salon owner said she has used beet juice -- and occasionally Kool-Aid -- for four years now to "stain" her dog.

Assistant City Attorney Janet Michels said the law was intended to prevent dyeing rabbits and chicks around Easter.

"We recognize the ordinance hasn't been used in some time," she told the Camera. "But our position is that the ordinance is enforceable for violations of today."

Still, she said, "We are trying to find a solution that works for everyone."

Ah...Practice

Finally...this 'new and improved' schedule is so killing me. I can't get my fix.

We started out with two newer ones (in the dark) that sounded basically amazing to me. We got another new one tonight, and played with the 'heaven' transportive lighting scheme. I totally have damaged too many neurons to remember WTF K was talking about with the invisible burst strobes.

With my current drying-out period (another time), I've decided to work on some lighting stuff and fixing some hinkey instruments.

Instructables has a bunch of cool stuff as far as lighting.

Sort of looks like tubes:



Bad ass; requires fog machine and computer:



Easy to build; I think that I have the required parts here. Delicate to set up, though...unless I build a little jig of some sort:



This is a very lava-like effect, but requires a laser that burns a lighter. I'm not so keen on the dangers of laser radiation:



The video looks good, but I'm not convinced that it sould be used live:



I think that I'm going to focus on making those halogens audio-sensitive with a relay for the time being. That'll be huge, and won't require more switching nonsense on E's part, or S's part.

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Now playing: Prince - Little Red Corvette

Imperial Woodpecker Found

From here. I just like the art on this one.

The Karma Truck Stop

I found my favorite incense at the 'Karma Truck Stop' on I-25! I no longer have to frequent cool Asian markets in Denber (no more of those lead-free candied duck eggs). This is totally an awesome find. And...they have shit loads of those realistic airsoft guns and burritos and CB radios and their accoutrements.

For Linda Ruth...

or others that aren't so into the Poison video-o-rama....

My Brother, Dr. E-dogg, was totally into the Poison. Our father trasheed all of those records because of the 'sex on the beach' from the 'open up and say ahh' record. Anyhow....here's the shit from él señor de amor a la roca:

Actually...it's all about 'talk nerdy to me,' LINDA. Think that I require a lime-green B.C. Warlock, really:




Indeed, I require a Warlock (and lots of cocaine);...is that the RATT or Randall sound?!? Priceless '80s video (love the Newman-lookin' father):



Overcasters require more choreography; certainly for the videos. 'F'J.N. certainly has enough banjos to pull off nonsense such as this:



Classic...I require some crazy brunette groupie (I love 12-string anything):

He Is Risen

I had to get rid of the hover bacon because now my friends are singing it. Thus, I un-drafted some posts and this one, for the easter. No, I didn't eat ham to slam Jews today. I ate an onion bagel with the vegetable cream cheese. John's family eats rabbits for easter, and apparently babies for christmas. Excellent...I didn't think that he had a funny bone in his body.

It ain't JC Superstar, but funny, and only semi-blasphemous (I heart the Gloria Gaynor; I'm so gay; who were those producers?):



I still dig the JC Surferstar. That version of "Overture" is pretty boss. It's like they doused the guitars in spring reverb and called it surf music, though.

"Heaven On Their Minds" is probably the best track from that show--I dig the stutter guitar/bass lines. I'm convinced that Judas was doing dude a favor by turning him in to the man. This has some lame costumes, but the sound is decent:

More Spongmonkeys

When I saw the Hover Bacon animation recently, I realized that it was indeed those very same spongmonkeys from the Quiznos ads (which upset people enough that they were pulled).

I love the "they got a pepper bar" one:

Fucking Leprechauns

I was going to do another whiskey advertisement (last one is here) for St. Patrick's Day, but I'm not feeling up to it.

Today, I've been obsessing about leprechaun sex, though. Do leprechauns have sex? What does their junk look like? Maybe it's not gnomes that are stalking me....

I searched on the internet and the closest thing I found to "fucking leprechauns" is this Frank Frazetta (dude is awesome):



and this one, from here:



I need to consult my monster manual, but I think that leprechaun is riding on a snail or sitting on a smurf's house or something.

The Road Warrior

It feels like it, anyway. I used to drive a lot more when I was consulting during the damn-fool water well project. 1,200-and-something miles in two days seems like a lot now.

On Wednesday, I was sent to Scranton, Iowa, to have a body "partially mounted" (technical term) on the truck that I drove from California last year. As it turns out, "partially mounted" is the "Mexican Way," if you ask José, or the "Irish Way," if you ask Mahoney. My evaluation of the "chain it to the frame" method is "a half-assed way." Apparently, the truck-builders felt the same way, and I wasn't able to convince them into such nonsense.

The New-Way facility is totally awesome. I got a factory tour. There were no robots here, though (thank goodness...they'd have had their way with me). Scranton Manufacturing is a small company that has grown enough to compete with the big boys in refuse equipment (Heil, McNeilus, etc). They just got the contract to build 300 trucks for the Beijing Olympics.

They do indeed build some nice equipment. It's pretty, and reliable (trash man speaking here). They're nice guys, too.

I shot some photos of the yard (no top-secret factory photos here):

Imagine It, Really

Very funny. From here.

Lung Butter

That's what we called it in high school. All I know is that coughing it up means relief, especially if it's chunky and green. I'm sucking down the high-powered expectorants, and it still feels like I'm having major pulmonic issues.

Coughing...coughing...this doesn't help my sleeping or, my emotional state (people are out to get me, again).

Show Post Mortem

The photos are in. I have that D. Boone look going on (fat man with a little guitar) in some of Doug Beam's photos. I've decided to do something about that, and it doesn't involve playing 36" scale bass guitars.

Jason Claypool took a bunch of color shots, including this one, which captures everyone (Andrew only by a stick, though):



Eryc Eyl did a nice write-up here. That guy rocks.

I love "confidence and charisma." That's code for "drunk on Stranahan's," I think. "The subtle pounding of Jeremy Ziehe's bass" makes it sound a lot like sex with the instrument in question, which it is, really. It was like an orgy, friends.

The highlight for me was The Pig Killing Song, with our "new and improved dynamics," which went over quite well. I have a jonez to write more with these people. They're awesome and, so far, it's way easy.

Greg reminded me of the Mexican midget that was threatening Ross at the K's China show with SCFS. I'd completely forgotten about that. Thank you, Greg, for helping me with that memory. That was a hilarious show.

Many Things

I totally scored some loot at work:

• a glow in the dark hockey horror mask;
• a ouija board (with a glow in the dark pointer); and
• a Zenith VM6000 Video Movie Camera System (in the case with a dead battery)

I can make some weird home movies with just this equipment.

On the radio, I heard that Kiss has formed some relationship with AARP. This is sweet, since I just got my card a few weeks ago. I can't seem to find anything regarding this on the internets, however.

While driving around the county today, I decided that Gene Simmons ought to be the new erectile dysfunction dude--he'd be way better than Bob Dole ever was. Certainly Gene would do a better job selling drugs than the woman with no pants that peddles Levitra, or the "I didn't know that my cholesterol/diabetes/high blood pressure would affect my ED" guys. Imagine this (much better before I started typing it):

• Gene (in makeup) says "I knew that I had bad makeup, but I had no idea that it was causing my erectile dysfunction.
• He continues on to lament about "having a reputation" to uphold (1,000 women?!);
• (Insert drug name here) totally worked for me;
• All of this dialog should be voice-over Love Gun, Rock and Roll All Nite, or even Plaster Caster.

I have a bad attitude, but I didn't know that it was causing my erectile dysfunction. I still can't figure out how a dude like Gene married a playmate--actually, he's a brilliant salesman. Thus, he'd be awesome (better than taco town) selling penis pills.

This is great:

Clothes Shopping

Man, I hate shopping for clothes. This one reason that my closet looks like a super-hero's--limit the choices, and I can get ready in like thirty seconds.

I'm working on building up the wardrobe of decent clothes, though, mostly for the rockshows. I've allowed myself to get too big for any of my nice clothes. It would certainly be less expensive to just waste away to fit into the "skinny jeans," but I think that I'm pretty stable at the current weight.

This photo really makes me feel fat, though:



The show was pretty good, apparently. I need to do something more as far as my dieting goes. I so don't think that the stripes worked.

I'm dreading the shopping, really. In TX, I could just cruise down to the ropa usada, where you get to wade through waist-deep warehouses of clothes and pay a nickel a pound--I was describing this to LRC, and she had no concept of such a thing (a NYTimes article here). I got that cashmere overcoat there (for $.70), but I gave that to Matt Stemwedel (of Maraca 5-0 fame) back in the day. I wonder how he's doing often.

This record is really growing on me (it's only taken a year):
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Now playing: Grinderman - Electric Alice/Grinderman

I'm All About Solutions

That title is totally consultant-speak, isn't it? I can't help it--that's how I learnt to writ, really. It applies this time, I promise.

Further research on the food allergy front has commenced. As it turns out, my grandfather is allergic to tomatoes [good information, MOM (I could've used that information years ago), but giving 'em up is going to be fuckinghell since they're my favorite fruit]. I know that shellfish hurts me (two months in Louisiana will teach you). Two other possible culprits are dairy products and eggs.

Shellfish are easy easy to avoid since I reside within the (mighty) Colorado; those other three are in virtually everything, and so much more difficult to avoid. I'm trying my hardest to cure the skin and GI problems once and for all. This shit has been getting me down since I was 15 (excepting that test of the 'mint chocolate chip ice cream' diet--my skin and guts were totally groovy for the first time in years--I think that I'm okay with dairy prod).

The second solution was at Robb's Music today. I talked to Jeff at length about what I was trying to do--he was suggesting that I build something. That's certainly okay for someone who gets electronics (which I don't, really--easy DC and open and closed are just about it for me). I should've gotten his numero de telefono, but I was too freaked out. Meanwhile, I was still on a quest for a non-buffered output a/b box. Robb's does not stock such a device, according to the bald elf with a rasta hat that helped me out. Dude suggested a passive volume pedal with a tuner out jack:

"You're kidding me, right?"

"It's right here, man."

Amazing. I've been thinking about a volume pedal for quite some time now, and presently have an excuse to own one. This seems like it will solve the problem of "tuner tone suck."

I certainly will require a fucking pedal board. I have some shit for it, and I'll mix it up (thank you Matt Winkleman). I need a wicked fuzz pedal (probably two of 'em), now, and the options are limited. I already have the mighty compressor, a couple of flangers, and the DI--I recently heard some envelope filter nonsense that made me want one (probably a nice one or some other interesting filter device).
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Now playing: the body lovers - 2. 5-32