For Linda Ruth...

or others that aren't so into the Poison video-o-rama....

My Brother, Dr. E-dogg, was totally into the Poison. Our father trasheed all of those records because of the 'sex on the beach' from the 'open up and say ahh' record. Anyhow....here's the shit from él señor de amor a la roca:

Actually...it's all about 'talk nerdy to me,' LINDA. Think that I require a lime-green B.C. Warlock, really:




Indeed, I require a Warlock (and lots of cocaine);...is that the RATT or Randall sound?!? Priceless '80s video (love the Newman-lookin' father):



Overcasters require more choreography; certainly for the videos. 'F'J.N. certainly has enough banjos to pull off nonsense such as this:



Classic...I require some crazy brunette groupie (I love 12-string anything):

Someone Had a Bad Day

Shit like this amazes me--in a strip mall parking lot?!?

Put On Your Surprised Face

Is this as horrifying to anyone else is it is to me?

FEMA Meets the Press, Which Happens to Be . . . FEMA

No Hangman For You

"The New York State Senate Majority passed legislation Monday, sponsored by Senator Dean Skelos (R-Rockville Centre), to make it a felony to etch, paint, draw or otherwise place or display a noose on public or private property."

They are not even kidding, friends. Soon, it'll be a felony to draw an electric chair on a paper plate. Hell, it ought to be a felony to think about drawing an electric chair on a paper plate.

"I'm Not Happy Until You're Not Happy"

I'm not really an Imus fan, but it seems appropriate with the angry Rockies People.

Economic Man could easily solve this problem: raise the price of tickets. (Insert dazzling graphs here) Clearly, the quantity demanded is greater than the supply 'o tickets. It's really a classic supply and demand problem, folks. We did this problem at school, when we weren't figuring out casino games.

"But then only rich people could go to the games."

Economic Man retorts:

"Oh well..."

I love Denver because it is a small town. Unsophisticated, like me.

Are You Kidding Me?

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm perhaps the biggest baseball fanatic in Colorado.

The afternoon jokers on KHOW are actually discussing the possibility that divine intervention is the reason that the Colorado Rockies are going to the World Series. Dan Caplis is certain that this is the case. Remember this when he runs for office, friends. Craig Silverman was actually pretty reasonable on the topic. Both of them generally get on my nerves.

If there was a god, I wouldn't be cool with dude swooping in to affect the outcomes of sporting contests. My god would get all ol' testament an' shit on D.C.

Statistically, the streak of the Rockies is significant. Certainly, the economic activity generated by this event could be a boon to businesses. However, getting to and from rockpractice (tm) will be more of a challenge, and that's about as far as my interest goes. If there's a game, I can count on an extra half hour of driving (gasp).
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Now playing: The Angels of Light - Untitled Love Song

A Little Piece of Heaven

Since the girl is a Hardees® alumna, my ears totally perked up when the radionews story was about some unholy breakfast burrito at Hardees®. I'm sworn to secrecy regarding the secret ingredient, but I can tell you that it is not love.

The press release is awesome, almost like Taco Town tacos:

Hardee's® Gets a Little Bit Country and a Little Bit Espanol at Breakfast

New Country Breakfast Burrito(TM) Fits a Hearty Meal Inside a Warm Tortilla

ST. LOUIS, Oct. 15 /PRNewswire/ -- Hardee's has always focused on giving its customers the kind of high-quality breakfast items people normally expect to find only at sit-down restaurants. Starting today, anyone who loves a hearty meal in the morning but is pressed for time has a tasty new option: the Country Breakfast Burrito. Offering the down-home flavors of a complete "country breakfast" with a south-of-the-border twist, the Country Breakfast Burrito is now available at all Hardee's locations.

"This is no ordinary breakfast burrito," said Brad Haley, executive vice president of Marketing for Hardee's restaurants. "It's an entire country breakfast in the palm of your hand. It represents the first time that hungry breakfast customers can get eggs, bacon, ham, hash browns and sausage gravy in a portable form that can easily be eaten on the go. True breakfast fans are really going to enjoy the Country Breakfast Burrito once they get their hands on it."

The Country Breakfast Burrito features two egg omelets filled with crumbled bacon and sausage, diced ham and shredded cheddar cheese with hash rounds and a generous ladle of sausage gravy, all wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. It is offered for a limited time only and will be sold for $2.69 by itself or $4.09 for a small combo, which includes hash rounds and coffee. Prices may vary.

Hardee's Food Systems, Inc. is a wholly owned subsidiary of CKE Restaurants, Inc. (NYSE: CKR) of Carpinteria, Calif. As of the first fiscal quarter ended May 21, 2007, CKE Restaurants, Inc., through its subsidiaries, had a total of 3,022 franchised or company-operated restaurants in 43 states and in 13 countries, including 1,101 Carl's Jr.® restaurants, 1,905 Hardee's restaurants. For more information, or to find a Hardee's near you, go to http://www.ckr.com or http://www.hardees.com.

Does anyone remember the Taco Bell Country Burritos? It was cheese, some potato product, sausage, (fuckin') gravy, and a bit of eggs on a cold flour tortilla. Those were awesome, but this one is a 920 calorie monster. The nearest Hardees® is in Casper. It's time for a road trip, friends.

Hilarious.

This has been on craigslist for months. I wish that my grill cloth had indians on it. I've finally figured out that RSS feeds are the way to browse that shit. Such a silly amp, even if it's probably loud as shit (when bad ass steve is visiting).

Carvin 1x12 combo amp, Model #X60A circa 1989, 60 watt amp w100 watt British series speaker, bass, mid, treble, presence, reverb. 3 channel amp, chan 1 clean, with pull bright knob. Channel 2 pull lead drive knob for drive channel 2, channel 3 pull lead master knob for high lead master #2. You can get a very clean bright to overdriven bluesy to a cranking Marshall sound. Powered by 2-EL34 and 3-12ax7 preamp tubes. On back panel, eff send and return , headphone input, external speaker jack, speaker imp switch, foot pedal jack. Comparable to Mesa Boogie MK I Combo Amp, amp size 18x18, in great working condition, very clean, asking $495 obo.

Alert Lee Greenwood

The flag at the City of Longmont public works building moments ago.

Mo' Po' Writting Courtesy of The Denver Post

There are a lot of great music writers in this town, and it really pisses me off when clowns are writing for the major papers. The real music journalism is still underground, it seems. John Wenzel made two hideous mistakes in his Bela Karoli write up in the Denver Post; his editor should be drawn and quartered:

1. "Qbase" has been edited in the online version, but it's in print, friends, and irritated me beyond belief while reading the paper during my "breakfast." Steinberg's Cubase had no 'q' last time I checked.
   Just wait, I'll start spelling "bass guitar" as "base guitar". Obviously, that would have a completely different meaning, though. It should be the base guitar, though.
   


2. Alumnus, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, means "A male graduate or former student of a school, college, or university." I'm certain that Julie's husband doesn't appreciate her being outed in such a public forum.
   
   Don't use the latin if you're ignorant of gender, number, and case. Wenzel must've been too transfixed by her sapphire-colored eyes (can't say that I'd blame him if that is indeed their color) to look it up.
   

I like what this band is doing, and I wish that a competent writer would do a decent article on them. Anyhow, here is the article (the current version):

Can't pin label on Bela Karoli
By John Wenzel, The Denver Post
Article Last Updated: 10/04/2007 08:50:23 PM MDT

Julie Davis turns to catch the sun from the distant front windows of Sputnik, a bar in which she has deposited herself with Bela Karoli bandmates Carrie Beeder and Brigid McAuliffe, and her sapphire eyes glint in the light.

Like Bela Karoli's music, Davis' effortless grace and riveting personality insist on engagement and reward it instantly.

"This band is the only thing I've found so far that feels like it unifies my efforts and thoughts," said Davis, a former theater major and alumnus of the Yale Divinity School. "What I love about music is that you create the context."

Davis' Denver-based trio, formerly known as Bluebook and renamed after the Olympian gymnastics coach, gets fitted with all kinds of awkward tags - trip-hop, indie-folk, electro-acoustic - but the deceptively simple, intricately rendered songs stir up words like "haunted" and "gorgeous" more often than not.

(Photo courtesy of Brigid McAuliffe)

When the band releases its long-awaited first album, "Furnished Rooms," on Saturday at the Hi-Dive, it will prove both its versatility and inability to be labeled. Anyone who has experienced "Invertebrate" or "Carnage" live knows the sublime qualities of the band's melody-drenched compositions.

"I'm interested in that space between the earth and the heavens," Davis said, looking toward the latter.

Her band's singularity is impressive. Few Mile High City bands sport an upright bass, electronic percussion, two women singing, violin, cello and accordion. Davis' jazz-addled vocals seduce you into thinking the band has already spent years being famous and adored.

It helps that "Furnished Rooms," which features cover art from Davis' artist/furniture designer husband David Larabee, sounds like the work of an inspired, experienced band. Meticulously recorded by Randall Frazier (Helmet Room Recordings, Orbit Service), the record is a marvel of sequencing and production - to say nothing of the songs' quality - and already a contender for the best Colorado release of 2007.

"I started working with Randall about a year ago, right around the same time we all started playing together," Davis said, eyeing Beeder (who has played with Born in the Flood) and McAuliffe (formerly of Pee Pee). "That's probably why it took us so long, because we had to rework the songs."

For Davis, who had written many songs during long car rides and realized them with Cubase software in her bedroom, the studio was unfamiliar territory. The upright bass alone took five to six months to properly record, a challenge of microphone placement, tone and performance.

"It was hard to know what the sound was going to be since we had different members in the band at different times," Beeder said. "It took a while to even get the three of us to work well together. We're still figuring it out, really. Julie puts tons of work into her electronic backing tracks, and that's growing and changing too."

McAuliffe nodded and leaned into the red vinyl booth.

"Recording brought out the awkward situation of trying to figure out what we'd evolved into," she said. "Both the process of recording and hearing the songs made us ask a lot of questions."

The band, which has previously featured members of Born in the Flood, Porlolo and other Denver luminaries, eventually refined its sound to a crystalline, moonshine-strength spirit. Davis' poetic lyrics flow inextricably from the music, the interplay sounding organic because it is.

"I get that same strange transcendent feeling from playing at a place like the Hi-Dive that one would from religion," Davis said.

Put On Your Party Hats!

Dr. E-Dogg is thirty!

Dude, fuck. I was looking for some unflattering photos,
but these (including 'un tipo suave') will have to do.

Happy Birthday, E-Dogg!

I Knew That There Was A Reason That Alabama Wasn't Cool

Or, at least not as much fun. I still think that the Home Depot is one of the best places to shop for so-called sex toys. Is my DIY ethic showing? There's something fun about buying sex accoutrements from unsuspecting clerks in hardware stores.

When traveling to Alabama, bring your own.

From the AP, here:

Court Leaves Ala. Sex Toy Ban Intact

By PHILLIP RAWLS – 4 hours ago

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) — The U.S. Supreme Court declined Monday to hear a challenge to Alabama's ban on the sale of sex toys, ending a nine-year legal battle and sending a warning to store owners to clean off their shelves.

An adult-store owner had asked the justices to throw out the law as an unconstitutional intrusion into the privacy of the bedroom. But the Supreme Court declined to hear the appeal, leaving intact a lower court ruling that upheld the law.

Sherri Williams, owner of Pleasures stores in Huntsville and Decatur, said she was disappointed, but plans to sue again on First Amendment free speech grounds.

"My motto has been they are going to have to pry this vibrator from my cold, dead hand. I refuse to give up," she said.

Alabama's anti-obscenity law, enacted in 1998, bans the distribution of "any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for anything of pecuniary value."

The law does not ban the possession of sex toys, and it doesn't regulate other items, including condoms or virility drugs. Residents may legally purchase sex toys out of state for use in Alabama, or they may buy sexual devices in Alabama that have a "bona fide medical" purpose.

Similar laws have been upheld in Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas, but struck down in Louisiana, Kansas and Colorado, said Mark Lopez, a former American Civil Liberties Union attorney in New York who worked on the Alabama case until recently.

The Alabama attorney general's office immediately notified county district attorneys, who are responsible for enforcement. The attorney general planned to ask a federal judge to lift an injunction preventing the law from being enforced.

Removing the injunction should take a couple of days, said Chris Bence, spokesman for Attorney General Troy King.

Store owners should be aware that the law takes effect once the injunction is lifted, Bence said.

Williams had asked the Supreme Court to review a decision by the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals that found Alabama's law was not affected by a U.S. Supreme Court decision knocking down Texas' sodomy law.

The Texas sodomy law involved private conduct, while the Alabama law regulated commercial activity, the appeals court judges said. Public morality was an insufficient government interest in the Texas case but was sufficient in the Alabama case, they said.

Williams called the Supreme Court's decision not to review the law "further evidence of religion in politics."

"The U.S. Supreme Court said states can legislate morality," she said. "I don't feel it is fair to the people who do not agree with the morality of the Legislature."

She also predicted future court battles over which sexual devices are legal to sell as medical devices.

Lopez said adult stores may be cautious about pushing the issue of what constitutes a medical device because the law has strong penalties: Up to a year in jail and a $10,000 fine for a first offense. A second offense carries a prison sentence of one to 10 years.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Shit!

Dude is such a dumb ass. Does "commando style raid" mean that they weren't wearing underwear? Wait...that was the last post.

Simpson curses on security tape | Herald Sun

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Now playing: Dr. Dre - Big Ego's (Feat. Hittman)

Sad What Happens When Young People Really Fuck Themselves

Really, it is to me.

Britney Spears ordered to undergo drug testing | Entertainment | People | Reuters

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Now playing: Dr. Dre - Bitches Ain't Shit

Give Me A Fuckin' Break.

Y'all must be on weed.

Phil Spector -- Hung? - TMZ.com

More Ridiculous Shit

David Allen Coe, The Mentors, Ultimate Fighting Championship....and this, from the Boulder Camera (I can't believe that I went to school in Boulder):

K-Y Jelly wrestling triggers complaint

Woman said she was 'intimidated' into participating

By Vanessa Miller
Thursday, September 6, 2007

Officers are investigating a K-Y Jelly wrestling event at the Pit bar and restaurant in Boulder over the weekend after a woman reported being "intimidated" by staff members into participating, according to police.

The 20-year-old woman, whose name isn't being released by police because the case is still under investigation, was "distraught" when she confronted officers outside the 1301 Broadway bar about midnight Friday, said police spokeswoman Julie Brooks.

The bicycle officers had stopped outside the Pit because they saw about 25 people hanging onto the bar's 10-foot-tall iron fence while watching the wrestling inside, Brooks said.

They were "yelling and rocking back and forth and causing the fence to sway," she said. "It certainly wasn't safe."

Officers told bouncers at the bar to get the people off the fence, and that's when the woman came out and reported the intimidation, according to police.

Detectives are looking into the underage woman's allegations and how she got into the bar, Brooks said.

The woman had a friend with her that night, according to police. But Brooks said she's the only person who has made allegations of intimidation in connection with the wrestling event.

More details about the incident weren't available because the police report is still being used in the investigation, Brooks said.

A manager at the Pit on Wednesday initially said she would prepare a comment about the incident but later said she didn't want to discuss the event or the woman's allegations.

An employee at the business said the wrestling match was a "one-time event," and there were no immediate plans to host a K-Y Jelly wrestling match again.

K-Y Jelly is a water-based lubricant that has gained popularity in mass quantities as a replacement for mud in mud-wrestling matches.

Camera Staff Writer Heath Urie contributed to this report.

Contact Camera Staff Writer Vanessa Miller at 303-473-1329 or millerv@dailycamera.com.

I'm totally hanging out at the wrong places.