Dream.

A litter of kittens has been dumped at a bus station. I'm trying to corral the kittens into a cardboard box, and they keep jumping out while I'm catching others. The kittens are running out into traffic. I only manage to save a sickly calico one.

Wow.

Since my recent dream, I've been thinking about Brian Jones a lot. I was really surprised (completely vibed out, actually) to hear that they're "re-examining" his death during a quick check of my news feeds this morning before setting out into the world. I found this from the New York Times this afternoon:

Police to Re-examine Death of Brian Jones

Compiled by DAVE ITZKOFF
Published: August 31, 2009

Forty years after the guitarist Brian Jones, below, a founding member of the Rolling Stones, was found dead at the bottom of his swimming pool, the British police say they will re-examine the case after receiving new information from an investigative journalist, Reuters reported. Jones, who helped create the Rolling Stones in 1962 (and is said to have come up with the group’s name, taken from a Muddy Waters song), was found dead on July 3, 1969, at his home in East Sussex, which once belonged to A. A. Milne. At that time Jones had recently left the band. A coroner’s report gave the official cause as “death by misadventure,” though subsequent films and books (including “The Murder of Brian Jones” by Anna Wohlin, a girlfriend of Jones who was with him the night he died) have suggested that foul play was involved. British officials did not describe the new information or identify who had given it to them. A Sussex police spokesman told Reuters, “These papers will be examined by Sussex Police, but it is too early to comment at this time on what the outcome will be.”

Dreams.

1. Kelly, Andrew and I are hiding out from some skinheads in an old Victorian house.
2. I lose my car in a parking lot, but don't know what kind of car it is, or if I just let someone borrow it.
3. I'm on top of a high rise, dropping bombs on the Macy's parade below.
   

When Pigs Fly.

This swine flu deal has me totally upset because I've been having respiratory crud for several days. The show was agonizing because A and I both were feeling rather sinusey. It's probably just the same rampant allergies that everyone has been battling this spring. Even so, I feel like it's my duty to go to the mall or the movies and 'infect' as many people as possible.

Lately, I've been having a lot of dreams about SA, but the pollen that comes down from the hill country is a deal-breaker there, so if I do decide to move, I'd better get some allergy shots, or some ORNADE (even though that stuff wastes me for about eight hours). Zyrtec and Claratin don't seem to work for me, so I've been old-school and hitting the Benadryl pretty hard for the last couple of weeks. I'm just glad that I haven't been pulled over, because I'm really stoned while taking the 'dryl.

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Now playing: Pink Floyd - Pigs (Three Different Ones)

Retail Nightmare.

I'm working in a store selling mattress pads. There are transvestite shoplifters. David Bowie is playing on the overhead PA.

Napmare.

I'm apparently a dog in this one. I'm cruising around killing women and children. People are chasing me.

Napmare.

Today, I finished up at 13:30. This is becoming a habit, which is awesome. I was about an hour late to work, too. Whatever...I came home and took some pills and a 2-hour nap.

I dreamed that Kelly and I were working on what appeared to be an intro for a song. She had a supermean (tm) part worked out. I was playing something like a banjo crossed with a guitarron, with a key system of some sort on the fretless neck.

The timbre was all wrong for this odd duet (this is how I realized that I was dreaming), but it sounded really menacing, like El Deguello meets Dies Irae or something.

Chainmail?

Somehow, I have gotten myself into the alligator wrestling circuit. I'm all dressed in this ridiculous armor that's heavy and almost drowns me. I use a short sword (gladius) and some sort of flexible, weighted weapon (like a length of heavy rope).

I'm killing aligators left and right. Dreams are strange.

More Little Guy Dreams

I can't seem to get away from dreams with tiny naked clay people with swords. That animation really did a number on my unconscious mind.

I'm Invisible

A very intense dream. Berlin was sinking, whatever that means. While rescuing a killer whale, I developed this invisibility control box with a knob to alter my opacity. I'm really not sure how it worked, but it was a cool piece of electronics. While invisible, animals could still see me--a german shepard was losing his mind. People could not see me, though, unless I picked up something; then it appeared that the object was floating. I beat a guy to death with a rake. I slaughtered a pig in a public place.

Wild.

Dreams--Nightmares and Napmares

I can't seem to shake this one. After I get over the horrible feeling that if I go to sleep, I will not wake up (I've been using melatonin, anti-histamines, and the booze to quell those anxieties). At some point, I do fall asleep, and that's when I encounter the 'fish-people.'

The 'fish-people' are atlantians (not from the ATL) or something (could be some H.P. Lovecraft crap) and are utterly horrifying. They have gills (which are only visible in certain light at bars) along their necks and, oddly, in their eyebrows. They are bald.

They are also trying to trick me.

Once they trick me, they will turn me into a giant cat. I'm still trying to understand the reason for that shit--I wake up every time that I'm close to discovering WTF.

It's like "Man From Atlantis" gone wrong, really. Goddamn being a TV junkie when I was little:

Insecto Loco; Weather; Photos; Super Huge; Goals and Shit

A fucking yellow jacket got up my pants' legs today. Stung me twice on the left leg, and, after I seizured him out of that leg, five times in my right kneecap. It's not as bad as it sounds, actually. I'm apparently not that allergic to the damn things. Manuel said "el insecto es loco," after I crushed its head and it was walking around in circles on the truck floor. He crushed it, and ended the ordeal. Three antihistamines were just the ticket, although I was very stoned at The Weather Center this evening.

It rained tonight! Awesome. Apparently, there was a tornado warning while we were writing another new one. Like we'd even be able to hear the air raid sirens, right?

Jason Claypool has his photos from the DPUMS up. He actually caught me at a good moment--this is as close to rock posing (funny link) as I think that I'll ever get. I was actually making faces at the camera, but timing is everthing in photography, right. I think that he did good.



During practice, I got one of those big bad important "this is urgent, call me back" voicemails. It sounded grave as shit, so I did on the way home. I'm pretty damn excited, but I'll wait to break the news to all but my closest friends. It's sort of one of those gigs that you can't say "no" to without kicking yourself afterwards. Andrew and I are stoked (he called me basically in the same surreal mood). The next couple of months are going to be rock central for yours truly, but this is what I've wanted to do since I was little.

Actually, when I was 11 or 12, I saw the late night television show bands and decided that I wanted to be a professional musician. I told my dad that, and he was actually excited for me. It's probably the only time that someone has encouraged me to follow dreams. I'm still not there, but well on my way to getting enough calls to stay busy--now, if only I could get paid sessions. I'm going to work my ass off to make this one gig completely perfect, though. It shouldn't be too difficult--seriously, I filled in for Ventura that one time with Ghost Buffalo, and those were giant shoes to fill (you know what they say about Phillipinos with big shoes--they have big feet).

Shit, I'm burnt out.

Rip Van Winkle

I slept for 30 hours. That's quite a feat. I did get up after six hours and eat a bagel, and fell asleep watching some show about UFOs.

I had lots of epic dreams:

The big one was about this shape-shifting sex robot. This thing was built around a wire frame and could change its shape to suit the client. It was sort of like the Add N To (X) video, but not a cartoon, and it was out to get me. I got all Sarah Connor on its ass. The wire frame fingers totally grabbed me and cut open my upper right arm.



I worked at some sort of advertising agency or music video production deal, staging trucks for videos. One of 'em was derivative of that Midnight Oil video, with an old military deuce and a half.



There was another dream in which my mom and K were all up in my grill; yelling at me. I ran away.

In another, I was a coyote smuggling Mexicans across the border.

I need to get on some performance-enhancing drugs or something to deal with these rock shows. Back in the day, I was on lots of coffee and OTC cold drugs all the time, and that made it easy.

More Nightmares, Again

1. I'm in a car accident, and the result is a double arm amputation.
2. I'm abducted in my sleep by some people. They dump me in a bag on a highway, and a car mashes me.

More Nightmares

Last night was hunting Yetis and trying to get a very important book to LRC.

Nightmares and Napmares

Last night was one of those rock and roll nightmares. Those are normal. This afternoon's napmare was much more troubling. Actually, it was totally uncool. It would make a horrible movie (I think that it already has after thinking about it).

Light Saber Duel

I dreamed that Hillary and Obama were dueling with light sabers for the nomination. I also dreamed that I could take a nap while driving (getting burnt out by all of this fuckin' rock).

Napmare

I'm driving a convertible (this isn't the scary part, but it should be, friends) with Dameon riding shotgun, the road is definitely 410 in San Antonio. We head to the hill country (think the Lake Medina metro area, Pipe Creek, Texas, or something). We park said convertible on the side of a caliche road and stumble off into the "woods." Clearly, we're drunk (put on your surprised face, friends). We arrive at the edge of a seriously weathered limestone cliff, and the ground gives way beneath D. He's all Wiley Coyote-style, and dangling by a thin mesquite sapling (does mesquite even come in that size?!?) that's (amazingly) growing out of the side of the cliff.

I'm trying to reach down (it's not even that far) and pull him up, but I have horrible vertigo (really horrible vomiting vertigo), and he's making fun of me because of it. Fucker.

Dream

I'm held against my will in a church and an attempt is made to get me to accept jeebus as my savior.

4 Dreams

1. The batmobile is stolen with the orange bass in the back seat.
2. LRC tells me that I need to find someone else.
3. (This is the most far out dream from last night) I am helping a scientist with some experiment and get exposed to this blue beam. After my exposure, I can see all of these extra-dimensional beings (they look like aliens, really). I'm certainly acting strangely--no one else except for me and the scientist can see them (I've long suspected that beings such as these were amongst us--and probably watching me masturbate--I'm not crazy, I swear).
4. I have inherited a sailboat, which is on a trailer. I don't have a vehicle with a hitch.
   

Product Review: Brookstone Tranquil Moments Sound Therapy System

My mother really knows how to pick a weird gift. For my birthday, I was the lucky recipient of the "Brookstone Tranquil Moments Sound Therapy System." I am only familiar with the Brookstone via those in-flight catalogs that I've perused when I forgot a book or music or both and didn't feel like getting drunk on a flight (usually, I had to work upon landing, so getting bombed wasn't an option).

This is right up my alley, really, since I have dabbled with the brainwave synchronization toys in CoolEdit (now Adobe Audition--I really like the Adobe software, although I don't think that anyone else uses that platform).

This unit has twelve sounds, organized into three banks (consult manual):

• Relax
• Ocean Surf: The ocean surf provides a calm rhythm that help create a relaxing oceanside environment.
• Thunderstorm: Relax to the exhilarating, but soothing sound of distant thunder as gentle rain falls upon a remote lake.
• Serenity: The calming and delicately slowed sounds of the acient Indian Tamboura and a gentle, rippling stream activate alpha-brainwave patterns to promote a healthy, enjoyable state of relaxation.
• Unwind: A soothing array of musical instruments and slowed natural human body sounds stimulate alpha brainwaves for the ultimate in deep relaxation.
• Sleep
• White Noise: The steady flow of a cascading waterfall is perfect as a "natural white noise" for masking unwanted background sounds.
• Rain: A tranquil rainfall provides a peaceful setting for sleep. The rain sound is particularly good at masking higher toned background noise.
• Celestial: Deep pulsations from string instruments coax your mind into a delta-brainwave state, thereby encouraging a restful and rejuvenating sleep.
  
• Summer Night: A slowed chorus of crickets combined with NASA-recorded sounds from Jupiter activate delta brainwaves and create a wonderfully calming sleep environment.
• Renew
• Stream: a rippling mountain stream helps you unwind and creates an excellent background sound for daily activities in the home or at the office.
• Meditate: The enlightening tones of Tibetan singing bowls played at various speeds are blended with instruments, slowed sounds of a stream and bird to activate theta brainwaves, thereby creating an ideal meditation state.
• Focus: Authentic NASA recordings from Earth's orbit and the smallest moon of Uranus (Miranda) are mixed with music for a unique and effective theta-brainwave enhancing sound environment.
• Rejuvenate: The appealing slowed sounds of an Austrian zither and rain stimulate theta-brainwave activity to provide a natural, gentle and revitalizing lift.
  

After two nights, I am unimpressed, friends. I'll grant that I've only tried the "Jovian Crickets" setting for a nap (lame), and the "deep pulsations from string instruments" setting [I'd rather rock out to Lygeti's (another weirdo Hungarian) Lux Aeterna, really]. The machine is trying, my droogs, but I believe that I'm listening too hard. I'm waiting for the change. Perhaps I've been listening to coast to coast am too long to go to sleep (saved my life).

It seems to work better after taking 40 mg of the melatonin, but I think that anything would be pleasant at that point.

Dream

Another nap-mare this afternoon:

The Overcasters are working in some kind of factory. At one point, we were cutting plate steel for armoring some equipment.

K had prosthetic feet.

Three Dreams

1. They are rounding up the alcoholics for labor camps. I escape through the desert by riding a camel.
2. I am a gardener at a mansion inhabited by middle-aged women who happen to be nudists.
3. After a bit of vertigo, I am hanging by my fingertips off of the side of a very tall staircase.

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Now playing: The Dukes of Stratosphear - 25 O'Clock

Very Strange

I'm hanging out in a bar with a talking cartoon horse. Some cool guys are giving me a hard time.

Two Dreams

1. I am having sex with an Asian hermaphrodite.
2. It is moving day, and I have to wrangle a bunch of pot-bellied pigs. I'm living in a really cool old house.

A Napmare

I'm in a really dimly-lit club hanging out with a bunch of rappers, or other bling-covered black men. We are drinking heavily and doing some cocaine.

Dreams

Sunday was a recovery day, so I spent the majority of my time passed out on the couch, sweating, or passed out in bed, sweating. I think that I'm sick.

I had several nightmares about rockshows going wrong. That's explicable.

The other dream that I remember was totally non-linear. There was a convenience store (it's in many dreams), some dead children, a mean cat, a white duck within a fishing tackle box, and a documentary on the TV about oral sex (blow jobs in particular).

Dream

I'm chillin' in a diner, attempting to drink some coffee. I don't have arms. Very frustrating.

Dream

My father and I are riding in an old pickup truck. He tells me that he loves me and leans over for an awkward hug.

Steve Vai and BTUs (3 Dreams)

That was one of the dreams. I have no clue WTF that was about. Another goes like this:

Apparently, I've lost it at last or I've been diagnosed with a terminal disease. I am solo in a small airplane. I'm playing at one point--lomcevaks, hammerheads, tail slides, immelmans, barrel rolls, and whatnot (I know my acrobatics).

During the playing, I notice that I have a bunch of cases behind me. I suppose that they could've been bass guitars, but in the dream, they're certainly guns.

I decide to check out egyptian and mayan ruins. Overwelming. Finally, I fly over a vast grassy meadow of black and orange lawn darts that are blowing in the breeze. So beautiful.

Dream number three goes like this:

I'm apparently a hitman. I'm supposed to kill someone, anyway. My disguise is a transvestite street performer.

WTF?

I am a really ugly man-woman with a bright ruffly dress and a Smith & Wesson N-Frame revolver (I know revolvers) concealed in the ugly dress. I'm playing guitar on a neon-lit street corner. I'm totally singing falsetto.

dream

This dude is chasing me. It appears to be some canyon lands sort of setting. I manage to hide behind a rock and ambush dude. I beat him to death with a big rock. There are skull fragments and brain everywhere.

Three Dreams

I have purchased a "MDRS," which is apparently bat wings for my car. It looks like a kite, and attaches to the vehicle with double-sided tape. Ostensibly, it improves gas mileage. I don't know how it works.

Nitwit gets hit by a car and dies.

David Lee Roth is dead.

High School is A Prison

All of my injuries are exceptionally painful this morning. Excepting the resulting pain, 14 hours of sleep means a lot of dreams, which is a positive thing, even if I don't want to relive any of this:

1. Riding with Scott Steele in his VW bus;
2. Ditching class;
3. Naked women (of course);
4. Drug use;
5. Stealing cars;
6. Tesla soundtrack;

I haven't seen Scotty in years. He's one of the only people that I occasionally run into from Niwot. Everyone else got out of town.

I have this dream frequently that I'm unable to make it to the Algebra II class with Mrs. Sauder. The funny part is that it's the only class that I did attend regularly when I was at Boulder High School. I don't think that I ever went to the class sober, but I attended the class and did well.

I almost always dream about naked women. I find it quite distracting.

When one wastes as much time abusing drugs as I have, it gets totally ingrained. I dream about the ritual often. Last night, I was doing blow and weed and mushrooms.

I relived one of the car theft incidents. I was drunk driving (tequila) in a stolen car with no license. We broke the axle on a suburban. This is a true story.

Oddly, I had that Tesla song with the electric twelve string electric as a soundtrack at some point last night. I don't even know what it's called, but it was HUGE in 1989--when I was living in SA, that was in heavy rotation. I'll have to steal that song before completing this post...it's totally here, friends. Cheesy guitar rock, all the way. I hate having something like that stuck in my head.

Intervention

Apparently, I'm a real piece of crap in this one. My folks, the girl, my band, a couple of friends and a therapist all sit down to talk about my problems:

1. drugs;
2. obesity;
3. sub-par rocking; and
4. financial irresponsibility.

Someone gives me a bathroom scale (to help with the obesity). I come unglued and remedy the situation with the 12-gauge.

Outrageous--A Dream Within A Dream

I wake up to my ex-girlfriend, which is quite confusing.

She's seducing me, and I inform her that I cannot do this. She asks me why, and I tell her that I broke up with her years ago and that I'm seeing someone else now. She says that I must've dreamed this alternate reality.

The light bulb goes on that this is the dream, and that I can do whatever I want to with no consequences. I play along with her game and allow her to seduce me in the kitchen. I stab her with a big knife and then hack her body into a bloody mess.

Lycanthropy

In this dream, I'm a werewolf (possibly the weed wolf). I reside in the zoo during the day, and I escape at night to attack women in the countryside (oddly, only women). Seemed like I was only into redheads and brunettes.

Four Dreams

The cops show up with submachine guns and dinosaurs. During the standoff, I consider shooting myself. Instead, I surrender. I am shot in the chest.
I'm in the mountains and discover that my sister-in-law in gay.
I'm lost in the capitol hill neighborhood.
I'm working at a video game company and my cubicle is stolen.

A Funny Dream

I'm hanging out at a really huge wooden water slide with the Godfather and Ronnie James Dio.

More Dreams

In one, I'm playing a rockshow (no surprise why that's on the brain--later). It's totally "this is your life," and people really come out of the woodwork for the occasion. I'm stressed out, and I wake up before our set even begins.

In another, my feline companions have taken up water skiing. They can totally talk, too. They have developed a powered water ski (a jet ski, sort of) with a light weight jet engine using composites and titanium and stuff. It's pretty bad ass.

A Very Odd Dream--took a couple of days to get this one up

In the dream, I'm an old woman named Mrs. Hastings.

Nightmare

Another recurring one is the self-nullification one that I experienced this morning. I realize that I have made a mistake and shoot myself in the face.

Hate Those Phone Calls

This morning I got one of those "grandpa is in the hospital" calls from my uncle. I used to go to pieces about them. I will not anymore.

There's a recurring dream about my grandfather's funeral that I've had since I was six.

Cinematic, Man

It could have gone horribly wrong:

I'm watching cartoons in a motel room with two little girls (with tattooed faces). It seemed a lot like one of my rooms in Alexandria, Louisiana (a horrible place), but I'm not sure about that. Apparently I'm baby-sitting them (gasp) until their mother returns.

I hear automatic weapons fire outside. I peek out the window to see many men with guns. They are wearing red turbans. I think to myself that the shit is finally hitting the fan, man.

Then...quick cuts as I pick both kids up and hide in the bathroom (no closets in the motel room). I keep the door slightly ajar so that I can see wtf is going on. The mother arrives, with crazed gunmen on her heels. I don't recognize her. They shoot her in the back of the head.

More Recreational Sleeping

It's a lot more exciting than reality.

In the latest episode, I'm in a gunfight with some bad guys. I have this really big silver gun (insert surprised look here).

Another Dream

I'm hanging out with this gnome in a junk store (not a heroin shop, really). He's wearing a really cool red wool coat, but no gnome hat. He tells me that I shouldn't drink so much.

Additional Blog Filler (without a Bunny)

I'm stealing gold coins from a tavern that's overcharging patrons to send to the poor, all robin hood style. I put the money in bags and catapult it over a very tall electrified fence. The cops find me out, and after interrogating "that cunt" (why am I still involved with her and living with her in the dreams?!?), beat me senseless.

Who Am I Even Trying To Kid

I told Kurt that I was going to attempt something productive after an extraordinary practice. Alas, the burrito coma hit me hard. I am definitely getting sick. It was an interesting dream, though:

• I'm riding in a car to a Chinese restaurant with some people (don't even know who they were);
• The architecture is all M.C. Escher, like any good Chinese joint;
• I'm wearing a blue silk kimono for some reason;
• I have to sneak a live chicken into the restaurant by wrapping it up in a Westword (this was hilarious); and
• There appears to be some sort of organized crime strangeness at the restaurant (can't explain that, it is just a hunch).

Bears?

I'm fighting a bunch of bears in a snow bank. The bulldog is there and totally losing her mind. I'm wearing the sorels and brown clothes.