figuring this out

waking up in the middle of the night and proceeding to go a hundred miles an hour all day can only mean one thing.

racing thoughts, and nothing to do with them.

indeed, i'm all shakey and stuff.

and sweating.

rock practice was cancelled.

my hopes for hanging out with someone tonight are dashed. i'll make up for that tomorrow night.

tomorrow day is the evil court date. fun stuff.

if this could be bottled, it would rock. actually, they do, and it's called ritalin.

it's looking like a night to go for a drive, although my ride isn't fast enough to amuse me. probably an evening of bass and cat torment and then probably try to break the record or something. leaving the house would probably mean getting into some trouble tonight.

damn.

i had a pretty good run, really. this morning the insomnia is back with a vengence, though. i think that the telephone woke me up with its screaming. it's time to start with the strategies to get back to sleep, although i'm completely alert at this point.

i can totally do this.

a new format--a warning

I was going to begin a separate page for this, and I might still do it if y'all scream too much. My intention is to have a non sequitur photo for each post. it is quite likely that most of these will have nudity or sex acts or both. The internets are good for that sort of thing (and i've got to entertain the two regular readers). some of these I have collected over the years (don't worry, folks--I'm not even going to post anyone's naked photos that I have been sent. also, we will have no jeremy exhibitionism. or, not yet...that's a bad habit to get back into). They will all be set at 200 pixels wide, so if you have a reasonable resolution on your monitor, it might be semi-work-safe (let me know if 100 would be better, even if it's arduous). Since I will be exiting the wonderful world of T1 access at work, posts should be much less frequent beginning June 5th.

practicing at home--sing along?

i learn lots of classic songs at home after i run through scales and the bits that weren't fluid with the band. however, i'm finding myself "singing" a lot. it's becoming second nature. this could be dangerous as hell. maybe it's alright for a garage-rock thing. scott has mentioned that i ought to be singing. i'm not a fan.

i'm very self-conscious about my voice. the idea of "singing" in public is one of my worst fears, right up there with getting my dick chopped off (thank you to wendall garrett). hell, i won't even sing in the car with jenn. she thinks that i'm weird. it's all because erich (and others) used to make fun of me, i think. and, i have a bad habit of making humorous alternate lyrics for songs. essentially, any song can be transformed into a song about getting high.

i have to comment on that photo--pregnant cheerleader fetish sites are truly strange to me.

A flurry of activity

it seems that the morons have just figured out that I'm leaving, and are requiring a Vulcan mind meld or something. I'm having to teach people stuff that they should already be down with.

funniest moment of the day was overhearing a discussion on how to calculate sales tax rates (someone had screwed up their expense report). This is indeed basic math last time I checkeed. It was further proof that a Nebraskan degree doesn't mean anything.

I heard from jammin' jenny today (apparently, her surgery went well), and she wants to go to a rockshow(tm) once she gets to town. She's staying in boulder and I think that she'll dig the boulderiness. Thus, I have committed to going to another rockshow(tm). It'll be fun.

Today I realized how much I really dig TSOL. I remember when I was 10 and turned onto them, mostly because I thought that it was a tough name for a band. I still think that it is.

the batmobile wins

only ross will appreciate that it took three people to get the batmobile into first gear. eventually, i had to go out and school the dude on how to drive the car. still, he was mystified by second gear, and did the test lugging the engine in third instead (fucker).

i got to drive on the dyno, which was really a strange experience, and prompted the "manager" to come visit my test bay.

still, i defeated the man for another two years.

going to pieces

for no reason on the commute into work. apparently, i am not over this one yet. i really feel crummy.

the horoscope:

Adding technology as a solution for your problem will be the breakthrough you have needed. There is a chance to salvage a relationship that recently ended in a messy manner.

Dream

jenn and I are on a quest for a cup of coffee. The location is hotter than the sun, and the town is dirty in a border town sort of way. it could have been Laredo or del Rio. The signs are all bilingual, so it's probably one of those horrible places from my childhood. We run into Vaughn Phillips (who I haven't seen in 13 years). Eventually, we locate a place with acceptable coffee and I leave them to pursue a pack of cigarettes. My trek leads me to the very large drugstore (which appears in many dreams). The seasonal merchandise indicates that it is the Christmas season, despite the amazing heat. There are lots of unruly white children and very old abuelas. Everyone seems lost, and I feel puzzlement. I purchase a carton of vile gpc menthol light 100s for $2.

take note of the time on this post

i have been accused of being a morning person....

this a.m., i have been playing bass naked, loudly. it's way better this way. my cat hates me (and probably my neighbors, too).

animal farm; catching up

playing farmer jeremy offered me some time (too much) to think about stuff, and get through that latest swing (sort of--there was only a couple playing with firearms moments--it would seem that the 'rents absconded with all of the magazines for my guns).

thought that i had lost a pot-bellied pig this morning, but i did not. they are stubborn, smart little beasts. the two "stupidest dogs ever" decided to go for a run down the highway. fortunately, they also like to ride in cars, so i only had to chase them down and open the car door. horses like me much more than i like them (equ. volkswagon-sized pigs as pets is just a little weird. a half-dozen cats is really easy in comparison to the other animals.

the photos at left are 3/5 of the pot-bellied pigs. alexander hamilton (eating a hotdog bun), fatima, and barbie que. oscar meyer and francis bacon weren't inclined to have their photos taken.

meanwhile, back at the ranch, my obese feline is pissed.

band practice...indeed, this is a go for shows everything is falling into place, even if they are using (when did i become the lame one?). the comfort level is way up on these songs, so there's a lot of bass fills. scott is usurping some of them for guitars, which is a good thing (per martha). playing alone for the last 18 months has gotten me in "solo mode" too often. being throttled down by a band is also a good thing. as the tempos increase, the fiesch is more and more tentative. painfully, i indeed require a distortion. email me with advice on this, please. a boost for the solos might work, or an a/b. i don't want to look like an asshole, even if i am (shannon would be the girl to talk to about fuzz, really). occasionally, i find myself zoning out during the solos (ghost of heller, totally, but scott rips way way way way more--i'm not even kidding). i'm just enjoying the guitar solos (all zeppelin i style on a les paul jr!!!) and forgetting to play the fucking bass. scott rules. we accidentally wrote a pixies song today. grumble.

in other bass news, my number one is slightly fuckeed. i need to take it apart to fix some bad potentiometers, and there's a spider living between the pickup and the chrome cover (indeed, this is a mighty spider). also, i'm cutting myself on the cover when i get excited, again (like the larimer lounge live show).

no restrictions

and i'm an inch taller. i'm super curious about that blood work, though.

lame

Ingeneo has fixed their web site. no more "fuck Israeli terrorists" and Michael Jackson. still a fun site though.

georgia? again?

they've got to be kidding. no fuckin' way i'm going to a solvent recycling facility my last week at this job. my crazy consultin' skills took months to get some more work down there. i rock.

ick

practice went well. i feel beat up (from dancing?). today is another physical. i love giving them a quart of blood, almost as much as having some dude grab my balls, especially since i just did this drill a couple of weeks ago. fun stuff, really.

my horoscrope for today makes no sense at the moment.

nitwit wants something but i do not know what she requires.

my secret is out.

'Lose weight by sleeping more'

or not. just eat less.

awesome

'Marijuana has low cancer risk'

i was actually thinking about getting some weed and spending my entire weekend being completely dis-productive while house-sitting. maybe i will.

a major screw up

it would seem that someone wasn't doing their due dilligence in the field on a trip to the devil's playground. this company is going to look pretty silly.

The funniest thing that I've read today

Happens to be from the longmont times-call (and unfortunately i can't find this electronically):

"A longmont woman reported Thursday that someone broke into her home on the 1200 block of sumner street and switched hardware in her computer with identical hardware that doesn't work. There are no leads."

unbelievable.

all newspapers should include the funny stuff in the online version. who cares about the real news? i want to be able to "email to friend," damn it.

a vacation?

not really. i have to house sit in lyons.

C'était un rendez-vous

this is really a great hack.

here.

cool furniture

:: emmemobili ::

check it out

I totally need one of these.

whiplash

last night was rough. i fell out of bed from flipping around in my sleep and landed completely ungracefully. i did something to my neck, too.

satan drives a miata. or, some red-painted person does. i saw it on the commute through the county today.

filling out more forms for the exit physical today. on the laboratory order there's a cool new section for "patient status." two checkboxes there under "deceased"--"yes" and "no." i had forgotten how horrible the osha hazardous waste physicals are.

hilarious podcast

here, for those of you that get it. from the denver post music page. the kaptain's delivery about grocery store violence and tom murphy is the funniest in podcast history. they're two of the funniest people i know. great story.

my review of toil like devils? it sounds like four rock and roll badasses (tm) getting down. suthers did one hell of a job capturing their vibe. anytime i hear backwards guitar, i have to ask myself, "is that freedom rock?"

turn it up.

thus, hell freezes over

the homework was a success. i can even sing this fucker! don't tell anyone. microphones are forbidden, especially on a kinks song. awesome to get mystifying in a song, though.

so mystifying - Ray Davies
You know you're so mystifying
You know you're so mystifying
Well, help me, baby, get a message through
You leave my mouth wide open with the things that you do
First you say you love me, then you say that we're through
You know you're so mystifying, can't believe it's true
You know you're so mystifying
You know you're so mystifying
You know that every time I see you walking down the street
You got a mystifying wiggle from your head to your feet
You got a shock wave pulsating rhythm through my brain
You know you're so mystifying, you just ain't the same
You know you're so mystifying
You know you're so mystifying
You know you're so mystifying
You know you're so mystifying
Well, mystify me by the way that you walk
You even mystify me by the way you talk
Go from one day to the next if you'll be mine
Oh, little woman, you are so mystifying
You know you're so mystifying
You know you're so mystifying
You know you're so mystifying

fat girl suicide

when i google this, i get a really cool page here.

Homework

Another great use of the internets. Where else can I steal a song, an acceptable guitar tab (bass is usually of little use, really), and performance notes?

"Bass plays AA BB on D7 an GG AA on C7. Just like on Wonder where my baby is tonight."

awesome.

then again, there are sites like this. Made me laugh uncontrollably at work for half an hour. check out the free preview if you dare.

i=1

conspicuous consumption

i don't understand why our office building' s management insists on watering these muddy patches at 14:30 every day for 15 minutes.

dream from this morning

i am on some sort of scavenger hunt, and the automobile fails. i am forced to use public transportation to complete my objective. the gps unit bites the dust, i must use maps. there are naked women (of course) trying to distract me.

and the objective is really weird...i procure a really cute, strangely-shapen, green handbag for the jenn.

really weird.

The exit interview

They had me fill out several forms today. One question on the "confidential" exit interview form:

"What could the company have done or provided to help you become even more productive?"

my answer:

"Hire fewer automatons."

this got a classic response from management (so much for confidentiality):

"what is an automaton?"

these people are fucking imbeciles.

riding the wave

i can feel the misery.

fuck....i'm shackled to my work-station again

wellhead protection programs for several sites in california. riveting writing indeed. but i get to listen to toil like devils on headphones. suthers did a nice job. he's becoming quite a recordist.

more dreams

1. a dude thinks that i am wearing a stolen sweatshirt (weird). he gets a severe beating.
2. my silver 10-speed is stolen and i am bummed out (like i'd even consider riding a bicycle again).
3. the house is actually a railcar (can't even explain this one).
4. everyone is dying from some horrible disease that leaves marks all over them and eats away their bones (think boneless humans).

Like clockwork

Again, up at 3 a.m. because of a bad dream about a girl. a jedi master i am not. feelings i must conquer. i won't even get into it, because it's way too volatile.

practice post-mortem (put on your excited face)

or, at least we all felt dead. me, because of the partying last night. after this morning's recap post, i went back to bed until 1300. at that time, i made my way to the denver.

apparently, i wasn't the only one that had a good night. the guitar players evidently took some 18-year-old girls home from a party and watched porn all night. one of the girls realized that scott's furnishings include a bed, a tv, and porn-player. thus, she freaked out upon this moment of clarity and cruised. i have a couch. and books. a so-called computer.

fucking guitar players. makes me feel real old and lame. i'm not going to jail, though. it's good that they get along well enough to share women, at least for band morale. i am comfortable enough with my utter sexual awkwardness.

my tone today was fucking snarling, and i couldn't figure it out. everything was set up as it should be. i was playing with some fucking conviction. and, no one stopped me. i can work with this kind of freedom. as it turns out, i have a lot more freedom in this project than i thought that i did. the metal-man cometh, it was like the spirits of geezer butler, steve harris and cliff burton all had a party in my hands today. fuck. i'm not used to hearing myself rock so hard. funny thing is that this is sort of british invasion-esque. the snarl is hilarious.

anyhow, there's real precision, and then laid-back groove. and walking bass. and straight eighth note hammering. and pretty boy singing. and we'll probably fail miserably.

tension and release. this is what good music is about.

the temporary name until we think of something better, or get sued: "that girl suicide." my preference is for "fat girl suicide," but that was deemed too mean. fuckers.

the songs are basically done. it's time for straight up rehearsals, because this is an adequate set. i have some homework, a kinks song (yeah, really challenging). it was decided that having a handful of covers in our pocket is a good thing.

i'm somewhat concerned that our rhythm guitarist isn't much of one. he's a cool guy, though, and i think that we can fake him out enough to be passable. it's kind of a linda mccartney situation. if i turn up and drive (it hasn't been often that i've really done that, and it's pretty cool), everything is cool. the last time that i was driving, i believe was during the cd release show contest, with the trip-out in time is gonna come today (thanks a lot, tom). the song was left to me and andrew to not become a 30-minute acid rock jam. hell of a song. still wish that we had done the backing vocals.

now, it's shower time to rid myself of the rock-funk. then it's out with elliott smith and in with the tarmints record for a listening party with my cat. oh yeah, i'm old and lame.

i=0

the summer of the tar-shack?

that was one hell of a party. like the kaptain said "look what red cloud missed. fuck." where else are you going to have people drinking 40s, riding motorcycles in the "backyard," and not a single fight? i reconnected with old friends and met some new ones. spent a long time talking with shannon about golfing (tom thinks that we were talking about dolphins). shannon rocks, but we knew that. i stole a few minutes from kurt and talked about some stuff. we're going to get together sometime soon. i could go on and on. it was fun.

denver needs more bands like TRANSISTOR RADIO SOUND. those kids had some fucking heart.

the outlook sounded good for that guy that goes to the rockshows. i found myself talking to some inebriated chick in memphis at 2 a.m [3 a.m. tennesee time (should've looked at a map before decisively deciding that it had been 4 a.m. nothing good happens after midnight, right?)], which can't be a bad thing. i think that i need to take him up on his wager and bet him a quarter.

i'm up way too early to deal with this hangover. i wasn't even drinking!

made it to saturday!

i have a very funny sunburn today of the truck driver variety. outstanding.

today is standard saturday crap, and i want to check out a cute little music store that i've never seen before, and i want to go to antique stores, or junk shops.

tonight is rock. tomorrow is rock practice.

pixies makes my morning mood.

pre-emptively, i=1.

ick--nasal tone tricks exposed

i totally dialed in that nasal picked tone tonight. it's so commercial. the trick is to slightly boost 40 Hz and pull up 1560 Hz to taste. bass tone control half rolled off, as usual. fingerstyle precision bass becomes all megadeth, or hot iqs, or killers.

i'm getting good at this

text messaging crap. only when i want to, for sure. still, i don't abbreviate appropriately, and the predictive text is somewhat lame, but that's probably because it's a japanese phone.

like scott says, "the japanese really are some great craftsmen." alas, the phone was made in korea. we were talking about "lawsuit guitars" though. i'm a firm believer in fender-japan basses. fenders are completely utilitarian, and there's no reason to pay for the american models. and i hate that satin finish on the neck....

i'm seeing things. big black dog out of the corner of my eye. isn't that supposed to be a bad omen? must look that up. i think that it means that i'm on the verge, man.

dr. s is the devil, perhaps. but he's gen x and does text messaging. maybe he's on the borderline, too?

i=0, again.

gear lust

totally surfing the fender site after stumbling across the jaguar bass. this thing looks suitably ugly. unfortunately, i have too many basses to warrant another. i might have to make an exception. it would be badass with a couple of rio grande powerbuckers instead of the girly jazz pickups. dig the matching headstock and block inlays. it's almost as ugly as godzilla. it's a funny thing about the robin bass--the only people that have ever played one besides me are tommy shannon (from double trouble) and the dude from new bohemians. hilarious.

i'm not sure how i feel about this though. fender has done some really stupid stupid things, and this might be another one. hello kitty has always been really creepy to me. lisa loeb, on the other hand, still does it for me. it's all about the myopic women.

bored at "work"

again. i think that i will escape early, though. it is friday and no one is here anyway.

you were warned

The amazing part is that not only would a woman have an entire jar of pickles in her ass, but then allow herself to be photographed?!?

only vaguely like a super hero, really

but at least i'm sporting a wolverine hairstyle, in my underwear. could put a photo in here, but that would be frightening. i'm so not wolverine. indeed, it is a piper at the gates of dawn dance party, and time-appropriate, oddly. this hair has reached terminal velocity, for sure.

speaking of frightening photos, i think that i'll do a not-work-safe photo post once i get to the office this afternoon. i found some wild shit while sanitizing the hard drive yesterday. (everyone has been warned)

melatonin only sort of works. i feel entirely lively. ha.

i'm completely stoked for the weekend, and i wish that i could wave my magic remediation wand and dispel gasoline from this morning's site. or, use my super powers. oh well.

Nothing like this has happened in years (short notice with exclamation points)

and if you aren't there on Saturday night....you should be. You'll miss hell of a show, really.

y'all that know me know that I rarely get really revved for a rockshow (tm).

it's the "toil like devils" cd release for my good friends the tarmints. They're truly something to behold! live, and this one will be especially fun because of the other bands and DJs:

TARMINTS!
HOT IQs!
TEENEAGE HARLETS!
LION SIZED!
TRANSISTOR RADIO SOUND!
DJ maia!

I have it on real good 'thority that it'll be a hell of a good time at 1401 zuni units c and d, Denver. It's even all ages and stuff! doors at 2000 hours!

I can hear y'all's whining (through the internets) "I don't know where that is." there's a map below (click it--any printable elegance is courtesy of the mighty lion sized boyz--they're all 'nets savvy and stuff). call me if you are missing the point entirely.

if you need a spl fix, this is your show this weekend.

this is one of those shows that'll change your life. i promise.

from my email inbox...

"don't miss nickelback" (i'd rather have a cold water enema)
"nickelback at coors ampitheather" (see above)
"women love men that take the blue pill" (i'm happy with the lame state of my erections)
"add smileys to your emails" (why would i want to do a thing like that?)
"single christians in your area are looking for you" (god, help me)

and several emails from the longmont florist, damn it.

standard issue thursday

got caught surfing porn at work. oh well, what are they going to do? at least it wasn't something interesting. just some lame naked women (models) that a coworker sent to me.

closing a potable water well at railroad-owned brothel in oregon was slightly amusing. on the railroad's valuation maps, these are indicated as "chicken houses" a little rail trivia for y'all.

finally connected today with maia. we're to get together soon. she's a busy girl, so i'm stoked to hang out.

the photo is for mike. the practice rig. thank god i'm a country boy. i had to get a john denver reference in--you know that i killed him. that's a whole 'nother story.

turns out that i don't have to do the background sampling at the monofill cells in nebraska tomorrow. standard boring firestone vaccuum enhanced product recovery (pumping) shall be my day. at least i get to read the newspapers. i'll get to hear kaptain k on the radio! rock.

tonight is trying to monitor dinner so i don't burn it again. and the sweating. weak.

i=0

today's horoscope

"Romance is a featured part of the day. Look out for the temptation to overindulge the wants of children in your life, as they can take your mind off of a surge in creative inspiration."

it's the children in my life that's the frightening part. i try my best to avoid them.

love the title on this one

from Telegraph News

"hurry up...I've got shit to do."

This is the declaration that I made aloud which awoke me this morning.

it's really hilarious how the unconscious mind operates on old old baggage. Maybe everyone is right and she really did fuck me up irreparably. or, I'm upset about stuff right now and going to "sleep talk" my way through them.

this has happened before when things derailed. tonight, i'll have to lock the doors.

The best part

After playing for three hours, we watched a documentary about hot dog manufacture. Unbelievable. Love that I have a band that'll watch some weird shit.

Apologetic phone calls from friends on the way home. rock, don't worry about me.

it was wednesday

work, then rock practice. everything's totally happening now. i'm comfortable enough to play instead of focusing on the structures. a new triumphant one too! not quite blind guardian, but you can almost see the blood dripping from your battle axe after you've repelled the hobgoblin horde. i'm sure that they don't even get me since they're youngsters.

my tone was all brutal tonight. not fuzzy, but it really punched.

i'm getting pretty burnt out on the experimental food. it's not bad, just not terribly exciting (like me).

random thought:

i need to remember to disable comments on my web sites when i decide to off myself. people shall not have a forum to grieve. it is forbidden.

i smell entirely wretched after rock. like i've been in close quarters with boys for hours or something.

[insert shower here]

some reading while i too wait for it to hit me. this new ritual seems to be working.

• here
• from The North Korea Times
• hypomania
• cirrhosis

i=2

clearing out

from my office several items that i've kept on the wall and cork board for my amusement. who ever said that i was a hoarder? most people have photos of their families or lovers or them skiing or doing something active. slightly absurd is much more entertaining to me.

my meeting with the mayor of plain dealing, louisiana was a highlight, really.


I think that Janette gave me this one.


This one is my favorite.


Ross drew this for me. It's titled "The Wizard." Apparently he was listening to some Black Sabbath at the time.


Still my favorite flyer that I did. If you're going to play the devil's music, you must go all the way.


Joe gave me this one about four years ago during the layoffs.

Another missed opportunity

Damn.

There are times that I really hate my social awkwardness. I could've been more self-serving today but I wasn't (surprised look goes here). Probably better this way, right?

Left work early. Got both the atom and rss feeds working (and nifty buttons). Making experimental food after I finally decontaminate. Benzene is not my friend. OSHA has set a permissible exposure limit of 1 part of benzene per million parts of air (1 ppm) in the workplace during an 8-hour workday, 40-hour workweek. And I'm regularly exposed to 5,000 ppm? Rock.

i=1

yeah, that was really fun

on site at six a.m. i'm quite the little morning person. i'm done being productive for today.

on the drive back, i got sick.

about this time, the shaman called me (hell yes, bitches!). we talked and talked and talked. i am probably the worst friend in the world, because i disappear, forget, and then remember that i have some really great friends. i mean, really great friends. he's gearing up for his return to academia and just got back from costa rica. i need to hang out with him. one of the funniest people i know.

i had hoped that i would see those boys on the 20th. still, i'm stoked. to quote tom "nothing like this has happened for years." and, what's with that band killing off bass players? not killing, but you know what i mean.

i am using red pens exclusively from now on.

my horoscope for today:

"A lover or possible soulmate is intruding on your privacy in a way that makes the pursuit of love seem like a lost cause. Balance is required and a focus on gentle confrontation and boundary setting is needed."

but, is saturn in retrograde? that's the real question.

This is not another nebulous, drunken rant

the last post was supposed to say that to discourage people Mexico has to change, somehow.

I dreamt of ray Davies songs. Weird.

no idea what i did with my eyeglasses. brilliant. this morning is firestone product recovery and water levels. i can hardly wait.

i am rather liking the new page layout. thanks to the code-meister toby for hooking me up with those lines.

thoughts on immigration--this is not a political blog, but i actually have something to unload for once

i took several classes in migration at the university. truly, my so-called economics degree was mostly demography. the president's speech tonight could have been coached by my fertility and migration professor.

having lived on the border for much of my life, i feel that i have some insight on this issue in particular.

mexico sucks. really, it does. it may not be like africa (which seems like the twilight zone to me), but it sucks. if i happened to live in matamoros, or juarez, or reynosa, or cuidad acuna, i'd cross the border. the border towns on this side aren't much better, though...20% unemployment (which really isn't a real number, but they aren't all that). i went to school with the anchor babies. i still think that the texas public school system smokes the colorado system after having been on the receiving end of both. this, despite having the undo burden of illegal aliens? please...

whitey is just finally waking up to this issue. this isn't something new, kids. (i totally just burnt dinner) there are issues, indeed, but a bracero program is really only a half-assed solution. wtf happens when their time runs out. we lose a trained worker. putting unmanned drones in the air to monitor wetbacks is half-assed. if whitey wants to really discourage people from crossing, he needs to get medieval or get sharks with lasers. militarizing the border is really lame. i got picked up for being a neo-nazi (fuck--i didn't even post about that), if i recall correctly, as well as having my car searched. the border patrol is pretty damn effective, although their density is far too thin to nab the perps. in summary, if w wants to discourage people from seeking a better life, he needs to just begin torturing people. still, it might be better to than the mexican alternative.

that's another foreign policy nightmare that this administration doesn't need (it's a damn good thing that i like green beans).

no one more deserving

the mighty tom murphy will be doing some freelance work for the westword? no one is more passionate about local music than that guy.

westword is lucky.

good news and bad news

lab results are in.

try this

three column? not sure if i like this. i'll give it a few days.

the mudane monday morning meeting

this is when i'm supposed to tell them that i'm actually doing something productive. i didn't lie--i'm completely slacking. "just occupying space."

apparently, there is some desire for a send off party of some sort. when asked my preference, i told them that i thought that there ought to be a parade instead.

got a hilarious pair of sunglasses yesterday. they're either ray charles, lou reed, or little old man (which would match my latest sneakers). damn. i need a hair cut in a bad way. maybe i'll go do that instead of blogging at "work."

grumble

i am so totally over going to work. i'm just coasting at this point, and that's what's really cheesy about even bothering with the commute.

the smell of my own blood

is really an exciting odor.

Stolen from the p.j.--a survey thing

indeed, i have been lurking. i really like reading her entries. she balances mundane with having something to say. i wish that i had more than five minutes of time getting to know her. maybe that'll happen someday.

Prologue:

Where did you take your default picture?
i think that someone snapped that in the office.

What exactly are you wearing right now?
pretty much the standard uniform--except i'm wearing my golden tornadoes shirt.

What is your current problem?
numerous medical tests.

What makes you most happy?
feeling.

If you could go back in time and change something would you?
i would kill my father when he was an infant.

Ever had a near death experience?
recently, no. otherwise, they are too numerous.

Name something obvious about you:
the "nice guy aura."

Name something that people might not know about you:
i have a really really mean streak. it's like total sexual gratification when i come unglued. completely frightening to me because it's beyond my control.

What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
swans - Ich Sehe Die Alle in Einer Reihe, from Die Tür Ist Zu, 1996 (i don't do german)

Any celeb you would marry?
i'm still not sure that i'd marry anyone, much less someone that i do not know.

Name someone with the same birthday as you?
jim croce.

Ever sang in front of a large audience?
Sing? maybe a hundred people in a bar. unless you count the church stuff. i'm not allowed to have a microphone because i will change lyrics to be more humorous.

What do you usually order from Starbucks?
"the biggest cup of the most caffeine-laden coffee which you posess." this order doesn't usually work too well with the clones.

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
indeed, and i recently saw the email (from 2002) with that allegation. henry rollins? please...

Do you speak any other language?
i write latin. i can get by with my lame variety of spanish on the border.

What magazines do you read?
i'm not a regular reader of anything. however, i have been known to pick up a national geopraphic or wired before a flight. tape op and various other music mags. i pick up one of the bass guitar-centric mags occasionally so that i can establish the "state of bass." usually, i realize that i'm a dinosaur and that technology has passed me by.

Have you ever ridden in a Hummer limo?
this must be a joke question. despite my nicknames, this one is a "no."

Do you ever watch MTV?
occasionally, but i'm much more into vh1 classic, especially during may, which is apparently "metal month on vh1."

What's something that really annoys you?
people.


Chapter 1:

Middle name:
scott

Nickname(s):
i'll only list my not non-flattering ones: j.z.; jizzy; jaze; tiny; jerm; mister z.; z.; the non-rapping jay zee; the electric grandfather; ziehe.

Current location:
home.

Eye color:
Brown, dude.


Chapter 2:

Do you live with your parents:
not since the "knife incident."

Do you get along with your parents?
now i do.

Are your parents married/separated/divorced:
my mother has been married to my stepfather since 1990. i hope that my father is dead.

Do you have any siblings:
one brother (younger), three stepbrothers (older), one stepsister (younger).


Chapter 3: Favorites

Ice cream flavor:
vanilla, even if that's a lame answer.

Season:
autumn.

Shampoo/conditioner:
not too into the hair products. whatever is on sale usually works.


Chapter 4: Do You

Sing in the shower:
i have been known to.

Write on your hand:
only after having donned nitrile gloves.

Call people back:
i do, within 24 hours if warranted. that is my rule.

Believe in love:
yes.

Sleep on a certain side of the bed:
not really.

Wear glasses or contacts:
i'm a fan of the glasses.

Have any bad habits:
too many to enumerate here.


Chapter 5: Have You Ever

Broken a bone:
several in my hands (ultra-violence), and three in my right foot (active lifestyle).

Had stitches:
i've sewed myself up a couple of times, but never by a medical professional.

Taken painkillers:
indeed. love them.

Gone SCUBA diving:
No. i think that the idea of breathing underwater might freak me out.

Been stung by a bee:
once. been stung by other insects, though.

Slept with your contacts in overnight:
yes. contacts are evil.

Thrown up in a restaurant:
no.

Been to overnight camp:
yes. this is a weird question, but i think that i have it covered.

Sworn in front of your parents?
my parents swear in front of me. Yes. my mother recently discussed "taking a shit" with me. love the crass folks.

Had detention:
lived there in eighth grade.

Been sent to the principal's office:
yes, i actually spent three months there in ninth grade.

Been called a bitch:
i think so, by my former band.

Been called a hoe:
not likely, but perhaps.


Chaper 6: Who/What was the last

Person to IM you?
probably one of those canadian heroin junkies.

What did it say:
can't remember. probably something about hockey (which i don't know shit about).

Person to call you:
dr. s.

Person you hugged:
jenn.

Person you tackled?
i don't think that it's ever happened. i take that answer back...my brief stint in the football world meant that i had to tackle someone in 1989.

Thing you touched:
beverage, computer keyboard.

Thing you ate:
potato salad at mom's.

Thing you drank:
some alcohol-laden concoction of my own design. don't even ask.

Thing you said:
i love you, man.

when the rock stops

indeed, rock was stopped because of mother's day. pretty far from a band of gypsies--more like a band of mama's boys. we are dorks.

mom got red carnations, a card, and three hours. we both got a little tipsy.

it's starting to look like the folks' dining table belongs in a flower shop.

my aching back

spending >18 hours asleep on the couch was not the best plan.

you can run from your problems, but you'll never get away

or so they say. or, it has been said. perhaps, i've heard this, somewhere.

yeah, it's milo fucking aukerman. amazing how that shit infests one's mind.

anyhow, there is a plan for today. last night's scheme did not quite play out as i wished that it would have. today's program shall remedy that.

but he was wrong. one can get away, at least for a spell.

this is what it is like

glenn branca, symphony number 5, fourth movement

is like when the tolerance for lsd is misjudged and a couple hundred hits is taken. then, after tripping for a good twelve hours, you just want it over.

not that it's ever happened to me, but that's what it seems like it might be like (yeah, that's a poorly-written, awkward sentence).

apparently, money is no object

q: who the fuck loses a check for $1,920?
a: me.

i'm a idiot. or moving too fast. i could really use that money right about now. maybe this isn't high-finance, but shit...that's a noticeable dent in my low-finance world.

the volvo has a bad main wiring harness. time for a new ride.

i have elected to not go to the show tonight. i need to decompress (running red lights, forgetting shit). last night, i had a wonderful moment of solo beauty right before i started leaking. this is starting to take form. unfortunately, my tape decks are not cooperating (as usual). might be time to really go digital. no one would ever want to hear solo bass guitar anyway. totally self-indulgent, really. it's easy to get really inspired when everything sounds right.

i have been informed that we are almost out of cat food. it's a good thing that someone monitors this.

Bored

Sitting around, supervising pumping. So not exciting.

holy smokes! i'm like, totally nervous, man.

way more than i thought. this morning after the shower and other morning rituals, i saw the cat. indeed, she was sleeping on the couch. for some reason, this made me jump.

it was sort of funny after i peeled myself off of the ceiling.

the new doctor situation

dude is actually a lot easier to deal with than the regular doctor. he was impressed by my lowered blood pressure (which is particularly amazing today), and weight loss (twenty-five pounds?!?). whatever. i got busted for not taking the meds. "you shouldn't just stop taking depakote. that's dangerous. you could have seizures." i told him that i'd much rather feel than be foggy and if i have a seizure, oh well. the usual quit smoking/drinking talk also. i told him that if i did that, i'd be miserable, and really hard to get along with. basically we had to go through my entire file which is mostly hypertension and high ldl levels. three hours of doctor's office is more than i can deal with. thumbs up for the new guy, though. the bitch that took my blood wasn't my usual pretty brunette. this one took two tries.

hours later, i was leaking blood. hilarious.

dream--lesbian sex, mickey mouse, laura bush, meth-whores, queen elizabeth

this one is particularly disjointed...

first, i'm having sex with janette in my kindergarten classroom. it's pretty fun, but we get caught. apparently, this location has been moved to central florida or some other hurricane-prone place (pretty sure it's central florida, though...read on). we part ways and a hurricane is rolling in (having survived a few myself, i don't get too excited). then, the flooding and wind starts. i am trying to help this meth-whore save her baby that is floating away. i get swept away and wash up at fucking disney world. there, i am chillin' with the queen of england. the hurricane has not affected the weather in the magic kingdom. i spot laura bush with a nosering and flip out. "that's laura bush with a nosering! that's laura bush with a nosering! that's laura bush with a nosering! that's laura bush with a nosering!" the secret service dudes take me away.

then, the cat landed on my aching stomach.

ick--my stomach hurts

Sadly, I do not know whether this is illness or hunger or injury or some combination. I'm actually leaning towards injury on this one. I've been feeling a lot more healthy recently.

that having been said, I've spent most of the day trying to get my doctor on the phone. After talking to three (!!!!) different incompetent people (on separate calls no less), I finally was told that the doctor is on vacation. it was like pulling fucking teeth to get a message to one of his associates who is supposedly covering for him this week. I had lose my shit and explain that I'm having an emergency and need to talk to someone. wtf is wrong with that office? They will not accept plastic. They will mail me an invoice for $2. It's all geriatric. Maybe that's just because young people don't go to doctors? If I didn't have a rather long history there, I would so not go to this place because all of the walking dead weirding me out. It's like a zombie movie, man.

I am to receive a call tomorrow from the substitute doctor. un-fucking-believable.

in other news, the black bass is now my bad motherfucker. She sounds marvelously filthy. It's almost a gated fuzz sound, but just good old vacuum tubes doing their thing. The hot action (fixed the neck finally) also makes bends a reality once again. Really loving my new tone.

Cannot type

Do you ever have those days when your fingers are just all wrong? It's like dyslexic typing or something.

music for playstation

or something....

having noticed that lots of defunct bands have myspace profiles, the dr. and i decided to do it up.

words like band and defunct don't seem appropriate. more of a decentralized collective? so pretentious, really. that was the name of the game, though.

Keith Richards Has Head Surgery

the keef saga continues...

turning point

it's not every day that one walks away from a job like this. it's not that bad, really. i don't like the constant travel or the attitudes of some of these people, but it pays well and doesn't require much effort. sort of bums me out a little bit to be leaving.

five songs pretty much done with the still-unnamed rock project. looks like i'm going to have to pick up a fuzzbox sometime this week. things are really starting to come together.

i should've taken some melatonin so that i could've really slept. got a little bit wound up, i suppose, and forgot. still, i feel much better now. funny how that works, isn't it?

the betsy hoffman bit is going to make me smile all day long.

it seems that everything is going my way. nervous man is waiting for impending the train wreck.

Lionel Richie?!?

from Fats Domino sent to hospital - May 7, 2006

a sighting

i saw an ex-girlfriend today. this is one of the reasons that i don't make hanging out in longmont a habit. i should've said hello or something, or not.

that could've been really awkward for everyone.

quote from glen danzig; show review

"anyone that wasn't here tonight is an asshole. you missed a fuckin' good show."

hell of a good show, really. bright channel blew my mind, again. anyone that isn't down is missing out on an amazing local act. very cool to be able to see those guys so often, although i don't see them as much as i should. i'm a bad fan.

the other bands played solid sets.

the soundman should've been taken outside and beaten to within an inch of his life. bad gating on the overheads made the ride cymbals sound really lame. brian's kick lacked the authority.

never feed them after midnight

[smile]

return of the living dead car and a video

the batmobile drives like a new car, sort of. got the lighting issues fixed and the transmission now sits where it should. much better. they took up some clutch cable slop, too. my shop rocks.

this video also rocks. dude in the camaro is way too slow.

boredom sets in: states i've visited

from here.

sleeping on it

slept quite well for once. no dreams to awaken me. a moment of clarity in the shower. i think that i have a solution--perhaps not an ideal one, but a solution nonetheless.

today is scanning documents for anadarko. apparently our administrative staff is too busy surfing the web to actually do anything. hate that bitch.

ravenous (got away from me)

i think that i have the appetite back. not travelling seems to help that. although overwelmed at the store, i managed to get some green things to cook. my place sort of has that "stucco cantina with tile floors and roasting peppers" smell to it now. all i can really cook is tex-mex. i dig it, though.

young team in quadraphonic in preparation for tomorrow's rock show. glad that those fuckers finally came back to denver. seriously, the bluebird show rocked. i still want to know who opened for them, since bardo pond opted out that night. the drumming bass synth player was completely entertaining.

i still think that the live version of my father, my king (the encore) at the bluebird that night fucking ruled. i'd love to get my hands on a bootleg of that show. apparently, we even dragged the androgynous vero to that show. who else got sucked in?

regarding the batmobile

busted tranny mount. is this why the car must be speed-shifted? it's always been like that, and basically a bitch to drive if you lack arm strength. waiting for that part.

light-fixing is in progress...

dream

i was in a diner ordering breakfast. seated with me were some australian surfers. these dudes did not understand the menu.

stepbrothers suck; new job angst; etc.

What drives me up the wall more than anything is the abbreviation "ect." get a clue, y'all moron's. For a long time, I refused to abbreviate Latin phrases. Perhaps I ought to re-enact that dictum.

ran into Danny Mahoney today. He gave me shit, as usual. I'm still not comfortable with being a little brother. I seriously doubt that I'll ever be quite okay with it.

he asked me if I'd been working out. This is because I'm a much bigger person than he is (nothing new). He ought to just tell me that I'm obese or something. He also asked me when I was getting married. My response: "never, ever." it seemed like a reasonable response at this juncture. I keep hoping that my passive aggressive will pay off and they will all fucking back off.

I never expected this weird marriage pressure from the fam. This, and children, are something that I do not foresee. I might be talked into marriage, i suppose (great persuading would be required). Since everyone's been married several times, it's strange that they're the biggest proponents of that so-called institution.

a driver broke an axle today (again), and I had to deal with the aftermath. Cannot wait until I'm done with the two jobs at once thing. I should've laid into Alberto about this shit. torquing Los axles regularly (three in two months) is not normal, even with the stop and go that the trucks endure. I wish that my espanol was good enough to talk to him about this shit, and not just curse him and his mother.

the scariest man alive

Why I should never, ever smoke marijuana

The stoned gourmet can be a really bad thing. Consuming several pounds of macaroni and cheese seemed reasonable at the time. I'm sure that my arteries love me now.

I didn't get sick though. This implies that my "food makes me sick" malady is over.

Other:

• Rock practice was successful;
• people come out of the woodwork at the strangest times;
• the cat seems to have settled down; and
• insomnia is back.