today

is my mother's birthday. it appears that i will be going to dinner with the folks in longmont.

Kind of a weird dream

I was delivering a mattress to a woman's house in the mountains. it turned out that she was a pretty, blind, 40-something, pianist. I turned on the charm and seduced her. She had an annoying little dog.

there are several funny things about this dream. What's with my mattress delivery man occupation? I'm much more smooth with the ladies in my dreams, really. The dog?!?

I thought that it was hilarious, even if it had a bad porno script.

Behold! a photo.

it appears that i'm undergoing special maintenance again tonight. i need to send photo links to both mighty jenn and rachel. i managed to only get a couple of decent photos from memphis, but i'm not going to post any of my greatest misses here. perhaps it's time to consult manual (one of my favorite pages ever).

actually, i did figure out that i was using the wrong setting for everything before the rockshow(tm). whoops.

i was totally playing the role of tom murphy at the rockshow, although i was much more drunk. anyhow, the memphis punk rock looks like this.

tonight is the wicker man. i picked it up because people were wearing those papier mache masks and apparently there's a "secret society of wanton lust", according to the box.

it certainly can't be worse than daughters of darkness, right?

crash-landing

a miserable flight from the memphis (screaming child), as well as the lavatory light not working. people were losing their minds. it was funny for a little while, but after two hours i was eager to get back on the ground.

there are photos--those will go up tomorrow.

tonight, it's high plains drifter on the western-flavored movie channel.

the punk-rock revival; sun records, etc.

glad that i allowed myself to take a weekend for the memphis. great to see the chris. meet the rachel.

memphis punk rocks

jenn is great. i really dig her. travelling together is a test for me. to see if i actually still feel a connection after a weekend of immersion.

the result is....i do.

This time

I'm serious about the Tennessee time.

i lied.

i just listened to an old live track, and had to cry (and post) lyrics. ross etherton is gifted. i'm glad to have worked on this song. fucking beautiful, really, even if it's superdepressing.

LOVE, IT'S NOT WORKING

You work on the railroads and I slave in the house, tending our children all day.
You sit on the porch with our dear baby boy, just rocking him soft on your knee.
Love, it's not working.
It won't work anymore.

Go to the places you've never seen.
I'll go to the places you've seen in your dreams.

You lived in this house for the last 15 years, just to die in this sweaty old hole.
You worked all your life for another man's gold and you're shaking to death now, it seems.
Love, it's not working.
It won't work anymore.

Now go to the places you've never seen.
Go to the places you've seen in your dreams.
I'll be in the places you've seen in your dreams.

The next time I post

will be on Tennessee time, bitches.

the 'rents are angry with my poses

there was a big family fight at the folks' house (lyons-metro) because they have photos of everyone (grandchildren, my step-siblings, crazy uncles, etc.) except me out for display. mahoney is pissed, but my mother says "i don't have any normal-looking photos of you."

thursday is the new friday, man

despite having shortened the work week, i managed to get everything done!

i rock.

my boss walked into my office during a conversation about anal bleaching with julie. a classic moment. there's lots of stuff going down at work. only five (?) months...i'm tired of working for evil petroleum companies. i played "master of consulting" today on the phone--i fucked with regulators in arkansas and an oil company in kansas.

but all companies are evil, right? i get conflicted about the helping/hurting the environment aspect of this gig.

while i was hanging out this afternoon, in between the many smoke breaks, i calculated my field time for the last year:

• one week in cheyenne, sampling;
• two weeks at the utah facility, sampling;
• two weeks in west texas, milling about;
• one week in wichita, sampling;
• two weeks in louisiana, driving;
• ten (!) weeks at the deer trail facility, sampling;
• one week driving around southeastern utah;
• one week in western wyoming, getting flat tires;
• one week alone in oregon; and
• one week in the los angeles metro area, checking out missile launching systems.

twenty-two weeks? that's not even counting my one or two day trips. i think that this year will be better on the travel.

something is lined up for west texas, arkansas, chicago, seattle (!!--must bring condoms), and some other places.

and if you believe that, you'll believe anything, kids.

Patching things

tonight, I got the nerve up to call the Ross. it had been more than a year since we had spoken. We talked about their wreck (check out those fucked up photos) and caught up a little bit. It's good that we're back on speaking terms.

the impetus for my call was that damn wreck.

we swore to catch up over a beer sometime.

to disappear

i would like to.

My cat eats chili and other weird stuff

I found that out last night. Pretty damn weird, since she's never begged for food before. this is, however, a texan cat.

work is so under control now. I feel good now.

I discussed with a web guy today about a possible new career direction for me. i'm thinking that perhaps I need to cash in on the domain name speculation game (sex.com sold for $12 million). Unfortunately, the only names I can think of off the top of my head would only appeal to a smallish segment of the internet porn industry. Some of these sites that I've dreamt up sound downright dangerous.

today, I realized that I'm actually reading three books at once, which is an interesting turn of events:

• Kim Cooper - Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (sort of a documentary of the recording of the record--a pretty interesting read, really);
• Karl Marx - Das Kapital (1906 version - how'd I get that?);
• William Gibson - Pattern Recognition (I'm still waiting for the female lead to get naked, but that's just not happening)

It's looking like I'm off the hook for Oklahoma, but probably going out for the monitoring event in Utah for a couple of weeks in march. This means that I need additional books, or to bring other amusements. Two weeks in west wendover Nevada is the most boring (you don't know the ennui until you've had to live in a casino for two weeks with nothing to do). Currently, I'm not turning down travel since I'm, yet again, unattached to a music project, or anything/anyone else. The chili-eating cat will go "on vacation" to the Mahoney ranch, as usual.

apparently, i'll be doing quite a few tank pulls and something silly (300+ spcc audits) in the coming months, too. indeed, i'll be going out with a bang.

i've recently located numerous free texts (very old) on the internet. thus, i may have to turn them into mp3s (ipod audio books are the shit for long road trips), or otherwise save them electronically (read in motel rooms, instead of whores or something). i'm probably going to require a tape recorder and some other devices. damn it....if only i had a button-board and a sequencer for my travels...

a battle won; relief

i just fired an equipment supplier because of the nonsense last week. i really don't like having to make someone's day. it had to be done.

i feel better now.

three big reports yesterday. two more today, and i ought to be clear for the remainder of the month.

not sleeping

i do not like this at all.

like the tattoo says--the gripe-o-rama; lil; more work angst (epic)

i started out the day thoroughly digusted with humanity. not much has changed.

this morning, i attempted to watch some news since i have been in the hazardous waste bubble for the last week, and far too burnt to read or watch news.

lunch with the folks and the movies. mahoney and i discussed bad debt and the velocity of money, and my version of money creation, which is different than the classical model (adam smith and his goons didn't get it right). basically, my "velocity of debt" model creates economic activity (increasing gdp) without any money (or very little money) ever actually changing hands. yeah...i'm totally working on my thesis, doggs.

two movies in two days. i think that i'm better off with the dvd player. however, since all the real men were watching the game, i had a female-filled theater. really an interesting demographic experiment to see the brokeback in longmont on afc playoff day.

here's a news flash for y'all. do not call me for drugs. i might look like a stoner, but i'm not going to be able to hook you up with some shit. if i require drugs, i can get them gratis. i know virtually nothing about scoring weed these days. i found out this week that the shit is going for $50 an eighth. wtf? i used to pay half that back in the day.

another gripe....there's a lot of road construction going on up here on the edge. this is bullshit. yeah, a super walmart is just what i require. the only good thing is that it will eliminate the super target monopoly (economic man rides again). competition is good, at least that's what the university of colorado taught me. anyhow, some assholes dropped one of my speed limits by 30 mph. 55 is probably fast on the north washington, but 25, please...

the best part is that they pulled this shit, and then the mighty police set up a trap. it was full on entrapment. fuckers. i'm for law and order (sort of), but this is just revenue collection. i so so so wanted to be on an overlooking hilltop with a 30-06 and a good scope. sometimes, the police really irritate me.

no, i didn't get pulled over.

the "lil dietzen" is totally on the cbs. how weird is it to associate a tv star with being erich's goofy drama kid lab partner? he apparently made it, right? good for him.

i got too many business calls last week while i was attempting to do the radiochemistry sampling. i'm glad that phillip is down with this shit, so i can talk on the phone all day. apparently, a major petrochemical company is selling some property, and i'm the only person left in the company that worked on the project. thus, i have to produce a slick multi-media thing this week. i only worked on the project in a very peripheral role. i did some data analysis, that's all. that was three years ago or something. it's not like i've ever been there (or would want to--it's truly disgusting). it looks like i'll be going to oklahoma to deal with this shit in the february. that, and several monitoring events. ack. work is truly getting me down. this time of the year makes me crazy.

last year, i gauged my entire existance on the first quarter. this, unfortunately, was the wrong tack to take. i can actually have a social existance, but i need to get through the first sixth of the year first. lucky for me, i have additional labor to use for some stuff.

only six more months....

i'm very much looking forward to the memphis get away. hope that it'll be a low-stress deal. i need a weekend lacking anxiety. lately, i've been having middle of the night freakouts about work (mostly) and other things that i ought not concern myself with.

more gear, more love, and more 'bad energy' than any other house in boulder - a photo repost

the doctor dug these up, and i'd forgotten what a strange looking group we were.

the east german flag is the best part. go winter park!

Victimized

Over the last two days, I have been victimized by numerous super-natural beings.

• car key gnomes;
• pump gremlins;
• cell phone elfs;
• sunburn devils;
  
• those damn goblins that lock your keys in the car (within your levi's jacket); and
• I woke up feeling like an ogre punched me in the jaw, fucking asshole.
  

clearly, I'm having a nervous breakdown of some sort--forgetfulness, tooth-clenching, and the bad luck (pump gremlins).

This indeed rocks.

soon, I'll certainly be running red lights and stuff (things that endanger my crazy ass). I need to make an effort to pay attention before enlisting another goddamn shrink (who will likely put me on some drugs, which I will abuse). I have a new name, and he's supposedly good.

isn't that a funny-looking word, good? fuck. I'm losing it.

I do not like the psychiatry at all, even though I have intermittently been under their care since I was six. Goddamn MFs, really.

a female friend called me this evening. She has had an even worse couple of days, which made me feel slightly better (I'm out of bed, anyway). Two commiserating bipolar, lonely musicians makes for some really interesting telephone talk, for sure. i have feelings for her.

crummy

we burnt another pump today. this is getting really old.

my old band flipped their van in reno. that van was cursed. glad that i wasn't with them this time and that they weren't injured.

reno is a horrible place.

goddamn the sun, revisited; a banned word

awake at 3:30 sucks. i don't even have to be functional until 7. today ought to be pretty intense at the facility. we have some catching up to do to get back onto a reasonable schedule. i am not in the mood for another equipment failure.

the big hard drive bit the dust while i slept. i have fixed it, somehow.

everyone is famliar with banned books. this morning, i am banning the word "totally." i will not use it anymore. i serves no purpose to me.

asshole websites

tonight I have been dissed by both blogger.com and the myspace.com.

silly me, I thought that a reboot would help matters (this is the common windows fix--tempted to become linux-man again and never ever work at home).

it turns out that the web-o-rama is uncool tonight. i'm routed through the "paris on the platte" web access (ha ha ha), so, it's likely that some 18-year-old goth chick was downloading some seraphim shock or something.

it's too funny to me that jeff is the landlord. really, he's been really cool. i'm convinced that he's high 99% of the time, but he just happens to be a chess master [not exaggerating at all. i'd love to play with him (I was one of those in the high school). he's fucking ranked and stuff.] you can't play the chess high, at least i can't. i'll never forget that idiot that i dated that was convinced that it was called "chest." that was the horrible 6-year ordeal, kids.

wtf was i thinking?

i'll play "chest" with any woman, and beat most of them at the game that is "chest." although, i'm bothered that i seem to have lost any skills that i once posessed.

anyhow, the jeff's situation is very impressive to me, since i had a russian kid beat my ass every day of my senior year of the high school. the chess club just happened to be mr. underwood's sci-fi literature class, and a study hall. basically, a hang-out for lazy nerds. i'm totally a lazy nerd, and i have friends that would testify to that fact.

maybe those lame-assed sites have forgiven me. we shall see. i'll hit the go button....

a video find

or two.

i heard tell (on a list) that the dragcity have a couple of smog videos up for the new record (which i'd only casually listened to). actually, the record is pretty compelling. sort of a folky thing, for the most part. it's not new anymore, though. it takes me a while to get around to listening to things. i had been rocking out some pre-release live recordings that are beautiful.

rock-bottom riser--i especially like the animation. the recording has some cool string-noise. the song is beautiful. i hate using the same adjective twice. it is, though. thank you to the ross for turning me onto the smog-o-rama.

i feel like the mother of the world--this one is pretty cool. a weird video, but i dig it. something like tablas and big dulcimer sounds.

apparently, i'm undergoing "special maintenance" on the myspace. i hate that i'm high maintenance.

oh yeah, this job is really rough....

at home by 4 p.m.? unbelieveable. we totally burnt a sampling pump, so i had to downshift. back in the old days, i would've panicked, really. the "n is for knowledge" dude just got angry. we switched our route around and everything was pretty cool.

apparently, there's no need to get angry at a grundfos redi-flo 2. clearly, it didn't care at all.

this is funny as hell. the quote of e-dogg is: "i look all chinese-eyed and shit." erich has never, ever, smoked the marijuana.

i had to call him to give him hell. additionally,

"i look like i got picked up for possession at a phish show."

if anyone actually ever got arrested at a phish show, it would be my brother, the criminal mastermind.

he requires my XXL laser-wolf tie-dyed shirt (which the ladies love, for some reason) to really really look like he belongs at a phish show.

on a whim, i decided to look up another assistant professor (ex-scfs). i'm glad that my job doesn't require my photo on their website.

i talked to jenn last night, and i'm feeling better. she probably thinks that i'm pretty silly for worrying. i'm glad that i have not yet screwed up with her. i just hope that things are alright with her, that's all.

decon! decon! decon! i exploded a hose on the vac truck today.

a new band?

i got the call en route from the deer trail facility today. actually, i have to think about this one, because it's going to involve some learning (gasp!). actually, this mission, should i choose to accept it, would likely improve my playing. so, i guess i need to learn some smiths' songs. i never got into them for some reason.

who'd have ever guess it--a smiths cover band?

i totally need to continue my other pursuits, though. i've decided that i probably ought not turn anything down. still, i'm sleeping on the smiths' deal. it's really an odd thought to play in a cover band.

i'm in trouble

and i want to make things right.

not looking forward to the work today

"Windy with snow flurries and snow showers possible this morning. Partly cloudy later. Colder. High 36F. Winds N at 20 to 30 mph. Chance of snow 30%."

it doesn't sound too bad, except i have to be out in it playing with groundwater.

lame.

Music, or what passes for it

Today I spent much of the day working with sound. I built an interesting composition out of shortwave radio noise, one out of weird vocal noises, and one out of babies' cries (that one was truly perforating).

when it was all said and done, I told the dialog box "no, I don't want to save changes."

totally devalued the time that I'd put into it today. I'm just too distracted. Being distracted from the distraction...this is something that only I could pull off.

maybe I'll re-work the radio noise. I can do better anyway.

never ever again

drinking pints of bourbon is just a real bad deal.

finally finished!

the mighty jenn and the pj totally inspired me on this one. i owe a big thank you to those ladies.

100 cool events from my life (at least i think that they're cool now)

100. serenaded by a crack whore;

99. met darth vader;

98. detained by the border patrol;

97. totaled a kid's car after he flipped me off;

96. prayed for mexico to win the world cup at a bus stop with drunk transients;

95. saw the marfa lights;

94. visited the alamo (although it has no basement);

93. witnessed a kid crack another's skull open with a chunk of concrete in mexico;

92. had a gun pulled on me during an attempt at panhandling;

91. got my first apartment at age 15;

90. sat on my great grandparents' porch, drank lemonade and listened to my great grandfather's stories;

89. learned to double clutch a truck with a two-speed rear end;

88. took my time (five years) to get up enough nerve to ask someone out;

87. stole my best friend's girlfriend;

86. met with the mayor of plain dealing, louisiana (love the name of his town);

85. met two sets of great grandparents;

84. descended a 32% grade on a so-called primitive road with four flat tires in a jeep;

83. sat next to the "wrong black guy" on the 15;

82. got trashed on hurricanes in the french quarter;

81. joyrided a stolen motorcycle;

80. pulled a tooth out during my great-grandmother's dinner and freaked everyone out;

79. made out with a goth chick in a cemetery;

78. discussed bass amplification with michael gira (swans);

77. got lost in compton in an impala;

76. was visited by dolphins in the wild while sailing a tiny boat;

75. got an artist credit on a "real" cd;

74. horrified in the co-pilot's seat as an engine disintegrated;

73. love in an elevator;

72. got a jailhouse tattoo in a living room and freaked some kids out;

71. was a garbage collector;

70. shaved my head on a post office sidewalk;

69. told a magistrate that i was a vigilante and had my fines reduced;

68. killed the planes mistaken for stars' van in meeker, colorado;

67. smoked and drank coffee in temple square in salt lake city;

66. consumed the alleged best soul food in louisiana (they had awards to prove it);

65. dated a nymphomaniac for two years;

64. landed a plane;

63. played 76 awesome rockshows(tm) with an amazing band;

62. played a rockshow(tm) at a chinese restaurant;

61. addressed the court in latin;

60. made out with a man;

59. addressed a sheriff's deputy only as "dude" or "man" during a stop;

58. caught my fiancee in the act with another man;

57. saw a ufo;

56. gave a cat a green mohawk;

55. dropped out of high school, twice;

54. worked at the largest RCRA landfill in utah, and the only one in colorado;

53. fell in love with a lesbian;

52. registered to vote as a member of the communist party;

51. drove 150 miles after a truck's alternator quit in west texas;

50. adventured in an abandoned mine;

49. turned down a prostitute's "blowjob for a cigarette" offer, but gave her a smoke anyway;

48. drank 40s with the cu football team when i was in high school;

47. cultivated marijuana;

46. saw a horse necropsy in progress (hell of a lot of blood);

45. psilocybin skinny dipping with two women;

44. started and finished a pool-hall brawl;

43. built a privacy fence that still stands (!) on broadway in the boulder;

42. pulled a knife on someone during a fight;

41. got caught smoking during a highschool p.e. class;

40. told my father that i hated him;

39. talked my way out of four speeding tickets in west texas (hell, those are my people);

38. surprised my grandparents for their 50th anniversary;

37. was headbutted by wesley willis (and i had no idea who we was at the time--thought that he was a totally insane large black man);

36. ingested dursban;

35. got lost in ann arbor with the rabbi and saw some belly dancers;

34. lit my shoes and pants on fire with methyl ethyl ketone;

33. got high on nutmeg (yeah, you read that right);

32. was dragged behind a car for four blocks;

31. opted out of using my vocal cords for two weeks, just to see if i could do it;

30. removed a skin growth with wirecutters (lots of blood);

29. went to see a shrink while high;

28. used to drive around with a police scanner and check out what was going down while on lsd, dude;

27. assault with a badminton racquet;

26. met a really weird hermit in the utah desert, and had to hang out for a couple of hours so that i didn't get shot;

25. saved a dog that had impaled herself on a chain-link fence;

24. tried to save a puppy that got mashed when i worked in the icu;

23. was first bass clarinet for four years (louder than the tuba section, doggy doggs);

22. was first clarinet for two months in a san antonio five a school;

21. took organ lessons from an institutionalized pastor's wife;

20. killed 147 bees by catching them in a camel box and setting it on fire;

19. beat a kid up with his baritone saxophone (what a waste of an instrument);

18. participated in several auto-destructive art performances;

17. was implicated in a gangbang indictment;

16 witnessed the demise of crazy legs;

15. broke my left foot;

14. fell in love with a band-mate (several times);

13. vomited on the gunbarrel bus;

12. shared several bottles of wine with my grandmother and got trashed (at least we'll die together);

11. enjoyed the massive compression on a pre-war telefunken hi-fi with led zeppelin lps;

10. faked an orgasm;

9. ate dog feces;

8. was caught by my father wearing women's clothes and beaten;

7. was chased by the girly boulder police department while smoking a quarter-ounce, rainbow-papered joint;

6. was leveled (busted my face) by a 67-year-old;

5. said incriminating things in my sleep;

4. dated a cheerleader (very briefly);

3. totalled my truck and hit five other vehicles while "watching" the news on the am radio;

2. single-handed the laguna madre (deep down inside i'm a sailor); and

1. went to a job interview with my zipper down (got the job).

an idea

i was told recently that i should write a book. i thought that the idea was totally wrong. maybe not, though. perhaps a book of ancient ziehe wisdom. just a bunch of one-liners. such as:

• if it can degrease an engine, imagine how well it will clean dishes!

i could put my drinking tips in there, too:

• gingerale is a great mixer, because it settles the stomach and prevents vomitting.
• anything with a high caffiene content ought to be considered a mixer, because you won't pass out so easily.
• as soon as cop gets out of his cruiser, commence slamming the gin.

maybe i'll do a second book with only wisdom related to getting trashed. perhaps a book of my stories would be better. i doubt that anyone would read, though.

i feel shitty

i'm totally going to whine. i thought that i was getting sick, but it's actually because i didn't eat for two days. whoops. i just kept sucking down the coffee and asprin. actually, i'm starting to feel a little more human since i had a snack.

today, i agonized about the new jersey facility. i can do fifty pages of text in a couple of days if i know what i'm talking about, but this four-page fucker is killing me.

my grandmother sent me that photo this morning. all the tits in the world aren't going to make work any more groovy until the end of the month.

it turns out that i'm going back to the atl. i must've gotten something right on monday, because now i have these sales guys calling me and stuff. more work is good, i guess. this latest site is a 100,000 square foot food processing joint. they totally make instant gravy! from their web site:

Great tasting gravies and sauces can make a statement about your operation. But they can also put a drain on your labor, your patience and your bottom line.

who would've thought that gravy could try one's patience? i have nothing but good feelings associated with los gravies. they are talking some serious gravy, though.

	Code	Case Pack	Package Yield	Case Yield
Brown Gravy	57232	8-14 oz.	Approx. 1 gallon	Approx. 8 gallons
Beef Gravy	57209	8-15 oz.
Chicken Gravy	57210	8-15 oz.
Turkey Gravy	57212	8-15 oz.
Pork Gravy	57211	8-15 oz.
Biscuit Gravy*	57213	8-15 oz.
Peppered Gravy*	57220	8-24 oz.
Country Gravy	57214	8-24 oz.
Cream Soup Base	57208	8-24 oz.
Cheese Sauce Mix*	57401	16-16 oz.	Approx. ½ gallon
Au Jus	57205	12-4 oz.	Approx. ½ gallon	Approx. 12 gallons

i can't even imagine eight gallons of gravy. and, why does the cheese sauce row not include the case yield. my tables will blow their minds.

i broke the blood pressure machine at the doctor's office today. enough of my maladies for now. what can i say, i have fat arms.

monday is supposed to be snowing and windy out east. that sucks. i might just call the event off, but i have to make that decision monday morning. i must go into the office sometime this weekend, just so that i can get some things done. i'd feel super-crappy if i stuck the new girl with a huge amount of my loose ends next week.

cream live in 1967 was basically a fucking great band.

i'm getting a start tonight on the saturday stuff. then, maybe something to eat (this time, it's for real).

i have been informed

that we are, indeed, out of cat food. this is forbidden, kids.

i'm glad that the nitwit understands that if she doesn't clue me in, she will starve to death. thus, she's turning herself inside out tonight. it's her version of looking over the eyeglasses.

lucky for me, i have a secret stash of the cat food. i actually anticipated this crisis, if you can believe that.

my nitwit is awesome. i got really lucky in the feline department (note the smiley-face collar--totally a spoileed animal). she still acts terrorized when i make my idle threats, but i think that she's just role-playing.

there's nothing quite like a cat that plays dungeons and dragons, really.

decon! decon! decon!

saying it three times doesn't really do it. i got covered in some water today at the site. this is only hydrocarbon-impacted water, mind you, but it still is irritating.

i'm totally going to wind up with cancer from this job, aren't i?

i'd better get deconning...

deconned.

today, i ran the batteries out on the music player listening to steve reich. i listened to "it's gonna rain" on repeat for a couple of hours until i was simultaneously awake and zoned out. i'm convinced that it says "lift-off" among other things. that's totally the point, right?

then, i kicked in the shuffle and discovered some other groovy pieces, to which i had not listened, yet.

wow!

i was totally able to get the 27th off, and even encouraged to take a microvacation. my last one was the 3-hour tour last year (one week), before that, the mcdonaldland recording sessions (those will be cool in twenty years).

the boss was disappointed that i am indeed going to show up tomorrow. wtf? i have too much to do in the next two weeks, especially since i'm at a facility next week. maybe i'll crack the whip and we can finish in record time. not likely, though. there's always ziehe's law to contend with.

i got a written commendation today from one of my senior pms [funny plural acronym, really (julie, who janette claims is trying to nail me--janette is insane)] to the big boss. i now hold the spcc plan land speed record--three days. it's not like they suck if you know wtf is with the laws regarding it, man.

top five recordings

abbey road - the beatles


larks' tongues in aspic - king crimson


world of skin - swans (is this actually a side project? mts needs to chime in here, definitely)


in the aeroplane over the sea - neutral milk hotel


the last man to fly - the tear garden

I put kiss' love gun in this list tonight, but I think that I really like it better this way (not ordered, really). I had to get world of skin in there, because I've been rocking it often lately. I love the ambiance and stereo gira vocals. it's really huge sounding, and i love it. still, it feels rather pedestrian to me.

fuck, i think that half of them were double lps. that criteria was not specified, though.

I had an awesome time with the jenn (she gets two ns from me). It's supercool that we have a lot more in common than I would've thought four years ago. I'm not going to gush tonight, I swear.

I need to look at my work calendar tomorrow to swing the Memphis thing. Talked briefly with the Dr. about it tonight, and I am not inviting myself or something. I love that a smile can be that persuasive.

before I get to the office tomorrow, though, I have to pump some wells out of the highway, again. The pm is out on pto, so I have to make the calls about the VOCs, read the PID, and not forget to check out the pH and h2o2. Acronym man rides again. yeah, it's a rough job, man.

my heart hasn't beat like that in ages, and it really surprised me. i think that i have to clean out the cobwebs.

40 CFR 112 is not my friend

but it does keep me employed.

it seems that i have inherited a NJDEP project that's a killer, which i should be working on instead.

my popularity is going to kill me

i almost need one of those electric "now serving" signs.

and a ticket machine. yeah. i need one of those, too.

photo fun

i never thought that this would be enough of a problem to warrant a sign.

riding the wave, so to speak

the best part of this thing is that i'll get in these hyper-productive, sleep-optional modes.

the worst part of this thing is that sometimes, life is almost unbearable.

i got up at 2:07. time to go to work and do some writing. dance music is making the morning mood.

it's like a time machine, man

the 3-hour flight from georgia only took an hour. the time zone trade-off is hilarious. i did have an asshole woman next to me applying vick's vapo-rub every few minutes. really a major wtf. 99% of people are missing the point entirely, right?

it's a good thing that i went, because the salesman apparently cannot count. there's 2,255.5 gallons of oil storage, so they're definitely in need of a SPCC plan (threshold is 1,320 gallons). the dude sold them a plan knowing about 975 gallons, and convinced them (somehow) that it was a good thing for the pr aspect. he must be one hell of a salesman. it was still really painless. i think that i took four or five photos. i rode with this good ol' boy to the facility, and got a huge dose of colorful idioms (watch out for their use soon).

i got lost in downtown atlanta.

I visited a cool old cemetary (those civil war graves blow me away).

i wept.

there are a few things that choke me up, and hundreds of dead boys is one of them. the south will rise again, right? i wish that i had that photo from the onion.

i could hear the damn cat screaming before i even got the door open. i hate leaving her home alone because she gets very upset. at least she isn't a bad cat. some cats would be spiteful. this one is not. her mother raised her right, even if she acts feral. i miss her company, too, when i'm traveling alone. i'd rather travel alone than with one of the morons from work, though.

i think that i did some good business development with the salesman. it sounds like i might have to go back to the georgia within the month. i can dig that. it beats the hell out of the north texas/oklahoma/arkansas/tennesee run that is rumored. there's 16 miles of union pacific track in memphis. i could at least visit someone. i need to orchestrate trips to detroit, new york, los angeles/ventura, seattle, san antonio, and memphis. i have some people to visit. that's the best--going out for drinks with a friend while on business, or, getting hammered with your grandmother.

as long as i don't ever ever go to phoenix again, i'll be happy.

the atlanta airport is fucking horrible. i hate it almost as much as the sky harbor.

everyone was really pleasant, though--even when i stuck out like a sore thumb at the grocery store (had to purchase a comb--i forget that i have hair now). i was really really the only white person in the store, and i got some puzzled looks even before i entered the store. janette told me that i had no concept of this sort of thing. despite what you may hear, texas is different, and louisiana is different. they really aren't the south, apparently.

i didn't eat any decent food while i was there. i didn't get the t-shirt that i wanted. hopefully, i'll go back soon (if only for the t-shirt).

the devil went down to georgia

but i'm totally not lookin' for a soul to steal. i'm actually going to a swank golf course.

this job is pretty fucking rough, let me tell you.

this is a ridiculous trip.

the HUGE week in review, now that i'm sitting still

monday was a recovery day from the weekend. i really don't like those long weekends because i'm usually bored as hell. i need to start doing some independent music stuff once i get the machines speaking the same language.

tuesday was huge. i was supposed to have some rock practice. the band, however, dissolved. i won't get into the reasons here. i'm slightly irritated by this turn of events.

i didn't sleep tuesday night, and had to sample on wednesday morning at 7 a.m. apparently, i did an awesome job of training the emily, and everything was totally smooth. we talked a lot. emily is quite an interesting character, because she grew up in boulder county. she has also put her wild ways aside, and is attempting to be a grown-up. she thinks that i'm "older."

i managed to get another dvd date with jenn on wednesday, too! this was pretty much the highlight of the week. i had decided that i really needed to confront the "jenn situation." since i had to be up and sampling thursday and i was already totally dehydrated, i opted out of a drink. i should have had one. i was visibly shakey, which wasn't good. i swear that i'm not an epileptic. i thought at first that it was the cold, but i was clearly possessed by the nervous excitement. i would be much more concerned if i was not excited to spend time with her. (this is getting sort of weird, isn't it?) we watched audition, which is a somewhat whack japanese horror movie. rent it.

i totally didn't deal with the situation. in hindsight, maybe this is alright. i felt emasculated ny my lack of decisiveness.

thursday sampling was basically a repeat of wednesday. i bought lunch because emily was making my sleep-deprived life so much easier (emily does rock, even if i have dissed her in previous posts) than it could have been. i'm not even going to expense it.

erich called me to hang out on thursday night. i had totally forgotten that he was going back to the durango on friday. we required our led zeppelin-devil worshipping-pool hall ritual. unfortunately, the doors did not cut it. he totally beat my ass on the dark horse tables. in the midst of this pummeling, the mighty jenn called me. this, indeed, was a sign that things were going better than planned with the "jenn situation."

i invited her down to witness me getting beat to hell, and she actually accepted. i was even more distracted when she showed up. erich beat my ass three times. it was really interesting to watch erich interact with her. i told him that i "really liked this girl, and, not be 'an asshole'." so, he put on his most social face, and, apparently, did alright. it turns out that jenn wrote off the weirdness as a math guy thing. thank goodness.

friday was a resample (the laboratory fucked up, put on your surprised face), and chillin'. i kept busy for most of the day. i managed to pull 8,000 ppm of VOCs on a monitoring well at 25 inches of Hg after five hours. this was huge for the powers that are (hadn't been done before).

i talked to maia, and wished her the best on her praxis test. i know that she doesn't want to hear it, but i love her.

also, i managed to build the top one hundred on friday. i was playing the role of supervisor. i think that i have a good start.

saturday was laundry, cleaning house (super light), a light bit of feline threats, and buying shoes. i actually had a salesman tell me that i looked hot. this was a little weird, but i told him that my girlfriend was convinced that she wore a 5, although i thought that she actually wore a 6 (a total fabrication based on my shoe-man days; i'm trying to be a straight man, too. he wasn't that hot). the shoes that i decided on were 12s, which is one and a half sizes too big, supposedly. you know what the say about men with big feet...

jenn called me this evening. (i was thrilled) things are wonderful with us, now. i think that we have both admitted to digging each other, and that we're into seeing where this goes. we spoke on the phone for an epoch. i hope that i'm not mis-representing the situation. she should comment if i am, or not. i have no secrets on the boxofdirt--there's a precedent that has been set here. i do worry that she doesn't realize the demons that have been unleashed because of this revelation.

this is a holy-shit moment for me. please bear with me. she has made me feel like a new person in the last few weeks. i'm actually buckling my seatbelt and looking forward to seeing her (this would have been unheard of a year ago). it's a little weird, but it feels fucking great.

really, though...she's been so wonderful thus far. i think that we both want to keep seeing each other to see what happens. i attempted to explain her precarious situation tonight, but i don't think that she understands that she might indeed have found a man that adores her on so many levels. i can't express it. after those intensely sexual realtionships, i learned that maybe i ought to slow down a bit. i hate being the slow guy, but i really think that this one is it.

my few confidants are certainly gasping for air at this point. none of us thought that i'd find a woman that might be able to put up with my erratic bullshit. i have to tell y'all that indeed, this "jenn" is amazing. i've tried to rewrite this sentence a few times, but i can't....i think that i might be falling in love. i really didn't intend this to happen. she's super special to me.

hell, she seemed to dig a SMOG lyric, which is wonderful.

tomorrow, i cruise to the ATL. i hope that my plane doesn't crash because everything is good here.

i suppose that i ought to get deliberate and hit to go button. this is a monsterous post, really. lots and lots of girl-gushing.

i'm really feeling good about the "jenn situation," yo.

today's horoscope

is hilarious.

Innovative courting.

Finances may be in disarray, prompting you to use your creativity in romance. Tonight will emphasize speaking in poetic verse and finding common ground with a partner. Embrace your commonalities and ignore your differences.

the most dense man on earth

jenn busted me last night. erich basically told me the same thing tonight. it's pretty sad, really.

how did i get this way?

this active lifestyle

is going to be the death of me.

this page gets an update when i can slow down for a few minutes. some news and stuff.

gybe ho!

several sailing references come to mind this afternoon, but that's the most descriptive one. the best are the commands of the helmsman. anyhow, this is really a difficult chop to navigate again.

i suppose that i ought to get the word out, again, and re-activate my secret agents.

i don't think that i can bear to eat, although i'd feel better if i did--especially tomorrow with the sample-o-rama. i will at least give it a try, and try not to crawl into a bottle tonight.

there's not much that i can do at this point except...trim to course.

ouch

EPA Press Release: EPA Orders Union Pacific to Complete Omaha Lead Site Soil Cleanup Work

the rockshow (tm) hangover, and the sunday chicken gets weird

i'm totally exhausted tonight because i didn't sleep well and now the tinnitus, because i was bold and removed the ear plugs of doom because "the damage would be worth it." wtf was i thinking?

today, the sunday chicken got slightly weird. new year's is the most sacred holiday for the order of the green toad. several superstitions were exposed to the androgynous vero. the best of these is that you must eat pork because pigs root forward, while fowl scratch backward. hoppin' john was consumed for good luck, and were pecan sandies (this was when it started to get weird). i managed to fling a glass of champagne across the table towards the old guy, who's glad that he didn't die in 2005.

mahoney didn't think that a horse would eat a sweet potato. i proved him wrong. horses like me much more than i like them.

what really was weird was when mom got the brilliant idea to attempt to fed their 550-pound pet pig a can of redi-whip. this is something that would have made a classic photo. it was totally an episode of wildboyz, except with my mother freaking this animal out. perhaps drunken insanity is a genetic disorder.

i don't think that vero thought it very funny when i suggested that their wedding have a pirate theme.

the tarmints ruled tonight

the bad luck city wasn't as good as they were a couple of weeks ago. still, "mile high medical group" is indeed the finest song ever written.

the bright channel totally exorcised me. it was great to shoot the shit with Shannon (who's one of my secret agents, apparently). Brian and Jeff were really cool. Shannon asked me if I was okay.

I talked to maia a lot. We discussed the merits of www.fuckingmachines.com, and other porn-related stuff. She also gave me my new year's kiss, which sort of embarrassed me (I was looking over my shoulder to make sure that a jealous godfather didn't flip out, really). I was rattled, I suppose. We talked about feet and body hair, too. I explained the hypothesis of jenn, which is "if they don't hurt, they're not shoes." maia concurs, and adds that "if you want to look cute, the shoes must hurt." I really dig the maia, and she is indeed going to do the primary vocals for this non-rock project. Thus far, she sort of has a nico-esque thing going, which is awesome.

a really really drunk girl with glitter on her face molested me. I almost came unglued, but beating up really really drunk girls isn't ever a good idea.

some fool landed on my foot in "the pit" during the tarmints set. Some other fool kept pushing me into the fray. I wanted to break his face. Next time, it's all about wearing some safety-toed docs or something.

sonya ruled. I think that the new tarmints is more supercharged and cannon-fire than the old "girly" tarmints. I must admit that I was skeptical about the drum kit "enhancements," but they actually made everything super-clean and loud as fuck. a.j. ought to market his "system."

as I made my escape, I let Kurt know what I thought about the show. He was being hard on himself. This is something that I have figured out about Kurt--he's a bigger musical perfectionist than anyone I've ever played with. I think that it works, though. He's never going to be embarrassed by his band (and I know what that's like several times over).