The cat is inside out; post-stroke language difficulty; i'm not going to jail; mesa/boogie customer service rocks

I am a terrible cat owner. We managed to run out of cat fud. It's not like this cat is going to starve to death. She even had enough (or so I thought) to make it through the day.

I was so wrong. Upon my arrival, she started "turning herself inside out" (my mother's terminology). I presented her with the new bag of cat fud. This was apparently unacceptable. She yowled for a couple of minutes before I succumbed. all is forgiven now. i really got lucky with this feline.

the incident reminds me of one of the best far sides.

I calleed Mahoney to verify what the plan was for tomorrow. To quote him, "the shenanigans will get underway at noon, but not an early morning noon, and we'll have some whores, and some ha ha, and then eat. Then, the football game starts at 2:15."

shit, after whores and ha ha, I'll be trapped, and I'll have to watch the game. Leave it to my family to have codewords like "ha ha".

translation: the Hors d'oeuveres and drugs start at 12, then we'll eat, and stumble away from the table to sober up while the game plays on.

today, i was supposed to be in court for this shit. i totally sent those people a check, which was apparently lost. so, i've been agonizing about going to the arapahoe county jail. luckily, the ladies at the sheriff's department are very cool.

i calleed the mesa/boogie people today for a manual. this is a relatively small amplifier company, it appears. i wouldn't have thought so. they hooked me up, and now i understand what's with some of the placebo switches on the electric grandmother's new head (more about that another time). this is a total svt-slayer, seriously. if you're in the market for an amp, consider playing one. even if they have this nü-metal image, they really are a pleasure to deal with on the phone, and their propaganda on the website is utterly believeable. they made a positive impression, anyhow.

there's enough unclear pronouns in that paragraph to float a battleship, bitches.