i love my cat
which is so lame, and totally nocturnal. she's pretty good entertainment for me.
it's looking like relocation is a possibility. i'm uncomfortable in the denver metro. i'm thinking that the delta might offer a lot of opportunity for rock, especially since i think that i've burnt too many bridges here. i did flunk out of the cloud. i probably shouldn't care, but i hate that i lost 3 friends. a different city might help. and, since it's a lot of oil and gas stuff, i might be able to get into it. demographically, it ought to be an improvement as far as meeting acceptable women goes. i ought to not kid myself. i'm totally inept with the girls. too afraid that i'll get a disease. and, also weirded out by people touching me.
today, janette accidentally touched me, and i sort of freaked out. it's been a while since i touched another human. it's a totally irrational thing that i cannot explain. i wish that i wasn't so apprehensive (why am i?). something to talk with the evil doctor about, i suppose.
tonight, i'm not feeling very well--i feel a depressive wave coming on. i've been taking the medications, though. i "talked" myself into a horrible place this afternoon, while janette did paperwork and labels. i wish that i could stop doing that. the medication does seem to stretch out the cycles, but i still want to hang myself sometimes. that's the one good thing about lots of field work--USUALLY, i wind up too busy to do that.
it's looking like relocation is a possibility. i'm uncomfortable in the denver metro. i'm thinking that the delta might offer a lot of opportunity for rock, especially since i think that i've burnt too many bridges here. i did flunk out of the cloud. i probably shouldn't care, but i hate that i lost 3 friends. a different city might help. and, since it's a lot of oil and gas stuff, i might be able to get into it. demographically, it ought to be an improvement as far as meeting acceptable women goes. i ought to not kid myself. i'm totally inept with the girls. too afraid that i'll get a disease. and, also weirded out by people touching me.
today, janette accidentally touched me, and i sort of freaked out. it's been a while since i touched another human. it's a totally irrational thing that i cannot explain. i wish that i wasn't so apprehensive (why am i?). something to talk with the evil doctor about, i suppose.
tonight, i'm not feeling very well--i feel a depressive wave coming on. i've been taking the medications, though. i "talked" myself into a horrible place this afternoon, while janette did paperwork and labels. i wish that i could stop doing that. the medication does seem to stretch out the cycles, but i still want to hang myself sometimes. that's the one good thing about lots of field work--USUALLY, i wind up too busy to do that.
posted by Jeremy at
7:34 PM
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