this fucking rocks. i'm stoked to see us listed right there with anal cunt, fecal-matter discorporated and intolerant messiah. i asked lee to remove the "the".



i packed like a mother fucker tonight. this is actually going to work.



today i had panic attacks at work. i hate the voices, the shortness of breath. i get mean, too. i told a senior engineer to fuck herself today. that was not good. oh well--i'll have to get a shrink to certify me if i get fired. it's totally like a fight or flight response--unfortunately, i can't just leave, so i have to bury the panic. i came close today to freaking out. between anxiety about moving and project deadlines, recordings, and low blood sugar, i was in bad shape.



i think that i need some rock therapy. ahh--tomorrow night ought to help. i could use some cocaine too.



kerry was successful at ftping me some stuff last night. i like the vocal mix much more than anything we've done so far. he also sent me some of his new material. the new mighty rime record has the potential to blow some minds. i've come close to offering kerry my services for tour. red cloud would probably kill me. they'd at least replace me. kerry said that he had been working with a metal guy drummer and that things were totally heavy. he's right. heavy in an angels of light sort of way. lots and lots of eight notes. almost like late swans. it's good shit. i had a couple of comments on it--i probably shouldn't have given any criticism, but fuck, man, those maracas are too loud, and that ritard just ain't happenin'.



i ought to get some rest.