i really am a horrible person. i wish that i didn't have such hateful feelings about everyone. much of the time, i'm conflicted because i get a thrill out of other people's suffering, but i know that these are unacceptable feelings.



what's in the cd player tonight?



swans

quasi

jesus lizard

pink floyd

skinny puppy



i've just been putzing around all day. listening to music. i had a nice chat with ms. jessica from seattle. i never would've thought that i could be interested in someone on the other end of a modem. she seems like a pretty cool girl, though.



mr. etherton called me this afternoon. apparently, if the bald midget can get out of work on saturday, we're playing at the lion's lair. that's kind of exciting, i suppose. it's really hard for me to get excited about anything right now, though. this band is actually doing stuff--two comp submissions, shows, tour. it's all a little bit much to take in all at once.



i haven't been drinking nearly as much as i should. i've been too busy to. i've sworn off the real booze for the time being. beer is good. i can still function, and i don't lose control.



quasi is the shit. who'd have thought that a guy with a keyboard and a girl with drums could sound so huge. when i saw them, they covered my generation for their encore. it was pretty sweet. i really miss the rabbi dragging my ass to shows. i had a horrible sinus headache/runny nose. shit, i wish that any of my friends would drag me to shows. they've got grrrl friends, though, so i should be more understanding. i'd do the same thing, probably. i've gotten into quite a few bands that i was first exposed to in a live situation. that's the best way to get to know a band, i think.



tomorrow, back to the weekly grind. i've been looking for a new job. so far, the only one that sounds cool is 'forklift operator' in a music wholesaler warehouse. at least i've got mad forklift skills. like that would help me utilize my education. so far, i've gotten zero return on that investment, as far as i can tell. oh well.